Chapter 41: Who Has Fallen for Whom

 

Who Cares: You sure your arms are strong enough to choke him?

Alicia: Meh, he probably thought they are harmless once smacked down. Women can be vicious beasts though…

Kirindas: Let’s enjoy Duan Tingxuan’s idiocy

Vun: I don’t really understand this, but it sounds funny as hell.

Lil: Oh my gosh, I know right?

Nayfa: *kisses*

Kaila: Meh, he’s still good looking. But good looking men are like cheap cabbages in novels like these, so that’s not much of a compliment.

 

 

[Author’s Note: Our goal is to provide a wonderful novel for your reading pleasure]

 

 

Duan Tingxuan was certainly a narcissistic one, however, it was too bad his imagination did not have the chance to fully play out when Su Nuan Nuan grabbed the remaining peach, picked up the empty tray and handed it him. Duan Tingxuan automatically reached out for the tray when it was lifted higher, away from his out stretched hands.

A tiny warning scream sounded in his mind, but it was too late. In a blink of an eye the tray was slammed down on his head. The water that had been cooling the peaches streamed down his hair.

The pitiful little marquis may be a powerful martial artist, however, in the midst of his imagined love fantasy, the delay in his reactions allowed Su Nuan Nuan to sneak in a viciously merciless attack. This moment could be rated as a great dishonour in his life, to be smacked on the head with a tray. He gritted his teeth and asked, “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“I was thinking that you don’t really know what you looked like. So, I thought I’ll help out by letting you look at yourself in the tray.” Su Nuan Nuan’s had nothing good to say as she sneered, “Talk, just which thug let you out? Who let you escape and cause trouble at my place?”

“What are you talking about? This lord of yours is no criminal or prisoner, I go wherever I please, do I need to permission of thugs to go out?” Duan Tingxuan looked at the peach in his hand. “The f**k, even a mere peach tries to bully me, it’s not sweet at all.” So saying, he made to toss it away.

“You dare throw it away?” seeing what the man slut was about to do, she immediately snapped at him and dove in to try and rescue the peach, if it could be considered a ‘rescue’.

“So what if I want to throw it away, what can you do to me?” Duan Tingxuan had assumed a grand, majestic attitude, weighing the half eaten peach in the palm of his hand. He did not actually have the guts to throw the peach away.

“Believe it or not, I’ll just won’t let you have any good thing to eat at all?”

Su Nuan Nuan immediately threw out her most powerful move, the thing that would scare Duan Tingxuan most. However, the marquis was unmoved, the corner of his lips hooked up into a smile. He bragged, “Think you can really stop me?”

“I can’t stop you at all,” Su Nuan Nuan sat down, a beatific smile on her face as she ignited her bomb. “But I can just not make anything.”

The effect was instantaneous. The little marquis’ mouth angrily opened and chomped on the remaining half of the peach, he held out the pit in his hand, and screeched, “How could a real man be controlled by his wife? I said I’m going to throw it, so what?” Then he turned and flung the pit away.

Su Nuan Nuan distantly admired that wild look in Duan Tingxuan’s eye: These few days he had more or less bowed and scraped to her will, this spineless creep actually knew how to stand on his own feet, ah. Even Han Xin[1] can’t measure up to this guy. If a man could be ruled by his crotch, crawling here and there at a woman’s will, could he even be considered a little marquis?

Clearly there’s something wrong. However, now that he had showed such a majestic appearance, one could consider him a genuine royal product.

“Duan Tingxuan, that’s a really great move.” Su Nuan Nuan extended her thumb, suddenly making this little marquis feel uncomfortable. He coughed and waved his hand. “Fine, fine, whatever, I ask you, that was just half a peach, why didn’t you just let me throw it away?”

“People who waste food will be punished by the heavens.” Su Nuan Nuan said neutrally. She had not finished speaking when Duan Tingxuan stared at her, his eye balls about to fall out from sheer shock, he staggered back exaggeratedly. “What? What are you saying, Nuan Nuan? People who waste food will be punished by the heavens? Ha ha ha, anyone can say this, but you have the cheek to say this to me? Have you forgotten what kind of person you were?”

“That previous Su Meng Nuan is already dead.” Su Nuan Nuan said with a deadpan face, meaning those words both literally and figuratively.

Duan Tingxuan suddenly stopped laughing, after a long time he sat his bottom down next to Su Nuan Nuan. His attitude suddenly reverting back to careless aristocratic charm as he chuckled, “Why, are you afraid that I’ll be punished by the heavens?”

Su Nuan Nuan finally could not take it any more, she gave that man slut a glare, fine, she could admit that the rascal has a good face. One that appeals to all five senses or some such nonsense that novel writers always go on and on about. What ‘As though  carve from pure jade’ kind of beauty. If Su Nuan Nuan stare at that face for longer than two seconds, she run the risk of turning into an idiot. Is this what they called, ‘using male beauty to eat tofu’[2] kind of feeling?

As she was busy thinking about this, that incredibly handsome, out of this world face got closer. Duan Tingxuan’s face was all playful smiles as he whispered into Su Nuan Nuan’s ear. “Does my wife feels that her husband is good looking?”

Though his voice was low, it brimmed with magnetic masculine charm, could she remain unmoved? The points of their noses were almost touching.

Thankfully, Su Nuan Nuan had not waste her extra 20 years of modern life experience. She had already gone past the age of chasing movie stars and prized eating over everything else. Therefore, Duan Tingxuan’s voice not only did not manage to enamour her, it actually awaken a sleeping ferociousness within her. She roughly push away that face by the forehead and sneered coldly, “About as good looking as a ghost.”

“But still enough to make you daze from just looking?” Duan Tingxuan muttered as he sat up. He snapped opened a folding fan and began to wave it gently, making a show of shaking his head, “Tsk, tsk, how hypocritical.”

“I already said that you really don’t know what you looked like,” Su Nuan Nuan had spent many days refining her acting skills, it was now time to to check out her progress. Without a sliver of guilt in her heart, she boldly said. “You really did not notice that I was just studying your skin? Aih! Even I’m worried for you, ah.”

“What’s wrong with my skin? What are you worried about?” Duan Tingxuan was almost freaked out by her serious tone and was touching his own face anxiously.

“I was just wondering how thick your face is, ah. I’m just worried that it’s too thick. What are you going to do if you can’t grow a beard in the future? Men must grow beards once they hit forty years old. By that time, if your hair can’t pierce through that thick skin of yours what are you going to do?”

“Do you have to be so mean?” Duan Tingxuan was getting angry, “I say, just what did I do that make you so angry? These few days I’ve given you food, drink even cloth, it’s fine if you don’t show any gratitude, surely you don’t have to act like you’re trying to get revenge for your father’s murder, ba?”

It was rare for the marquis to be this completely exasperated, though he was quite happy to be chased around by an angry Su Nuan Nuan, his character was still one that hated to lose. Right now, Su Nuan Nuan was looking at an utterly humiliated, but did not dare to show his anger marquis and felt her mood improved. She inadvertently let out a ‘puchi’ laugh. The urge to laugh was bubbling up fiercely from her belly, she had to press both hands over her mouth, but the laughter still exploded and she ended up clutching at her stomach as she nearly cried with laughter.

Her laughter sounded like silver bells to Duan Tingxuan who became sillier the longer he stared at this beauty before him; she, who was supposed to be a loathsome thing; black hair piled up in a cloud bun, and, instead of being stuffed full of accessories, was only decorated with a single silver and pearl hairpin. Her blooming hibiscus face was free of heavy make-up, and though it lacked the finely painted, sophistication from before, her basic foundation had always been good.

Her fresh new look was like a blooming flower, washed in fresh water. The smile adorned her face with a brilliance that light up the room. Her fair and pale wrist, brought up to hide that laughing mouth exposed just the perfect amount of skin, a single jade bracelet swayed with her every movement.

“Like a moon this bystander, wrist bright, like piled snow.”

Duan Tingxuan muttered to himself, his voice low enough that the cheerfully laughing Su Nuan Nuan did not hear anything. By now she had finally laughed enough, and had righted herself to face him, “Since you have contributed so generously, sending me food, drink and clothing, these are things I owe you. Otherwise, do you think that with your limited strategy you can really eat so much of my things? By the way, I’ve already instructed you many times to send people to enlarge my kitchen, but all you’ve done is hem and haw and not a thing is done? You want to do the right thing, do it all the way, these half hearted gestures are meaningless, understand?”

How could this woman still not willing to adjust to situations?

Duan Tingxuan was almost on fire as he thought of this, but was outwardly calm. He even slap himself in the head as he sighed, faking a forgetful face, “These few days was just too busy, how could I remember such a small thing?”

“Oh, really? Have you really forgotten about it? Or are you still looking to force me back into the inner court, and have decided not to waste manpower over this place?” Su Nuan Nuan narrowed her eyes, suspicion heavy on her face, worse, it looked like she had some kind backup plan in her mind. The little marquis nearly felt his heart break out of his ribcage, his mouth felt dry, and somehow, he dared not look at her straight in the face. What if she really saw through his intention, wouldn’t this tigress try to beat up his little brother to death?

Once he thought of this horrifying image, the marquis couldn’t help but tremble a little, he tried to nonchalantly turn his head away and began to pick at his fingernails, bile rising in his throat. “Really busy, really, I’ve been ordered around by the emperor to run his errands all over the place…”

“Lies, until two days ago you’ve been free enough to freeload off my precious food and drink, and even steal.” Su Nuan Nuan was merciless as she kick over his cover story and expose his plot hole.

[Gumihou: I was this close to writing a**hole…]

Duan Tingxuan paused, embarrassed, “I was truly busy these two days …” he had not finished when Su Nuan Nuan’s suspicious gaze prompted him into recklessness. He point a finger to the heavens and swore, “Unless I’m truly seriously stupidly busy, how could I not come look for you?”

“Come looking for my food, not me.”

Unable to take Su Nuan Nuan’s gaze any more, Duan Tingxuan actually began to gasp for breath. He lifted up a hand to loosen his collar and said unhappily, “A couple of days ago something happened at the crown prince’s East Palace, and I had to do some investigation for him. Day and night, I laboured for two days before finally getting some results. I was really tired and hungry, so, the moment I left the East Palace, isn’t it natural for me to come over here? Please don’t say any more silly things, whatever you have in the kitchen I’ll gladly eat it, just bring it here quickly. I’m so hungry I could probably eat a whole cow.”

“A grand boast,” Su Nuan Nuan was unmoved. “So what if you’re hungry, just go to the inner court’s kitchen, why run over to my place? I’m too lazy to cook tonight, I’m only having a small bowl of thin porridge with two side dishes.”

“Right now anything I eat from the kitchen is like chewing grass. How could you expect a wolf that has tasted meat go back to munching grass?” Duan Tingxuan’s euphemism was pretty spot on. He made a final plea. “Two side dishes? What two side dishes?” Yi! If it’s lean cured meat[3], or chicken feet in wine[4] type of things, those would do as well.

The marquis was still trying to guess when Su Nuan Nuan mercilessly crushed his hopes, “It’s salted radish strips[5] and pickled Chinese cabbage stems[6], you want to eat those? I have lots of those.”

“Surely not? You can’t be so cruel.” Duan Tingxuan gave a miserable shriek, Su Nuan Nuan’s only reply was, “Since you’ve been so busy running around for the crown prince to the point that you’ve forgotten to eat. Thin porridge and pickled vegetables are the best things for a stomach that’s been empty too long.”

 

 

[1] Han Xin – Famous general of the first Han emperor, Liu Bang

[2] Lol, men using their male beauty to lure girls and eat their tofu (kiss their lips).

[3] Lean cured meat

https://www.sbs.com.au/food/blog/2018/12/12/fire-leg-liver-and-wax-guide-chinese-cured-meats

[4] Chicken feet in wine

I don’t know about you guys but, I love chicken feet!

Braised Dim Sum Chicken Feet

 

[5] Salted radish strips

It actually tasted similar to the yellow pickled daikon

[6] Pickled Chinese cabbage stems

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Translated by Gumihou at kitchennovel dot com

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