WARNING!!

Contains Translator’s prejudiced and biased comments. Do NOT  read if you have any positive feelings for this story.

SPOILER!!

The Translator hates this stories and there will be lots of hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

…just, let me have this, okay? I just can’t-

No-

Just don’t scroll down if you don’t have a sense of humour.

Seriously.

I’m warning you.

Stop now.

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If you’ve reached all the way here, have fun!

 

Chapter 55: Eating Breakfast [Trolled]

 

Chang Seng was famished, so he gobbled up the noodles without much ado.

Shui Mo picked up his chopsticks. It took a long time before he managed to fish out a single strand of noodle. The noodle was tough and salty.

Ren Yue maintained his peerless gentleman attitude, not moving, not eating, just smiling.

“Ren Yue, why aren’t you eating? Is your master’s personal cooking so bad you can’t bring yourself to swallow it?” Sir Song Tao had finished his own bowl of noodles and was looking at the statue like Ren Yue with a black face.

“Ren Yue doesn’t dare, Ren Yue only felt that

Master’s accomplishments,
Came on a flock of books,
Has levered Heaven and Earth;
Onions plucked for noodles,
Enters the kitchen,
And lost their spirits,
Thus we taste the master’s craft!”
Ren Yue gritted his teeth and lifted the bowl.

In accordance to his picky eating attitude, food and drink had to be especially prepared and be perfectly suited to his taste.

However, this scallion noodles in front of him, no matter from which angle one studied it whether it’s taste or looks, one could not help but be less than impressed.

[Translator: lol, first world problem there, dude]

However, he had no choice since noodles were prepared by his master, he could only stiffened his spine and gulp it all down.

[I’m enjoying this, clearly this is foreshadowing that he would end up with the cook Mary Sue, but whatever, pretend you did not see this.]

The bowl of noodle was not a large, however, the more he forced himself, the larger it seemed to have become.

[I hope he gets captured and imprisoned in a commoner’s prison and gets fed day old rice that’s stepped on by the guards]

At first, he wanted to just swallow without chewing, but the noodle’s texture was so rough that it seemed to pick a fight with his teeth.

Underneath the unchanging gentleman’s face hid a very tragic figure. This Ren Yue, had never eaten such horrible thing in his entire life.

[Clearly a pampered young master, but who am I to judge what real tragedy looks like?]

=====

The next day, as the sky brightened, everyone woke up.

It’s clear that most of them had rough night. Some of them were woken up by hunger pangs, others could not sleep due to indigestion. Not many had a good night’s sleep, ah!

“Teacher, I’m going to town to buy some stationary!” Sir Song Tao looked like he was thinking about personally cooking something again, so Ren Yue was quick to think up an excuse to leave the house.

[A smart cookie that one *Sarcasm*]

“Go then,” Sir Song Tao had already started light a fire.

Mo Shui who was standing next to him was feeling great trepidation. Goodness knows what breakfast would be like!

Reflect Snow was carrying Ren Yue and trotting slowly in the cool morning air.

“Third Ren!” A familiar voice called out.

“Sheng Yao Shan!” Ren Yue leaped down from his horse.

[Oh look, there’s the other handsome, accomplished, overly manly dude]

“Where is Sir staying now? If you could bring me there to say my farewells, I have to return to Beijing and report.” Sheng Yao Shan had brought his troupe of soldiers and heroes to Xiang Yang to enjoy some soy bean pudding[1].

Warm soy bean pudding, fragrant sesame pancakes. Ren Yue could not help but touched his own cold stomach.

“Teacher enjoys peace and quiet, he’s now staying at the South Qing Shi street, just past a willow tree. Sheng Yao Shan, I advice you to just go back, I’ll pass along your greetings.” Ren Yue answered simply.

“Is that so, then I thank you for the trouble. Do you know when you’ll be returning to the Capital?” Sheng Yao Shan asked next.

“”

“” was Ren Yue’s cool response.

“Take care!” Sheng Yao Shan cupped his fist together, then bringing his fully sated soldiers and officers, and set off on a fast clip away.

“Boss, how much for the soy bean pudding?” Once Sheng Yao Shan had gone a long way away with his subordinates, Ren Yue quickly turned to ask.

“One coin for one bowl, customer would you like some sesame seed cake as well?” The soy bean seller had just finished saying this saw Ren Yue clearly for the first time and was stunned.

[Oh, is the uncle going to fall in love with this gongzi too? Yawn]

That there was such a fine and exquisitely made person in this world, and a young man at that, was clearly astonishing.

[I’d make him a shou, but he’s too annoying, even Lu Feng Ye would eat him alive]

The diners who were sitting at the stalls all stared at the beautiful young man, stunned! All of them had completely forgotten about the warm soy bean pudding in their hands.

Ren Yue felt a little awkward, he had intended to eat his soy bean pudding at the stall, but that might actually attract the entire street of people to come and gawk.

[Ok, I’m starting to feel a little sorry for him. Pretty boy is so pretty he can’t casually eat outside, reminds me of Sasuke. Oh wait, he’s the reason I stopped watching Naruto five years ago.]

Waving a hand with a smile, he said. “Oh nothing, I’m just asking casually.”

So saying, he lead Reflect Snow away with a sigh of relief and headed towards the Drunken Immortal Restaurant.

“Ah! Young master, you’re a little early, won’t you come back in the afternoon…” Zhu Zi was just moving the boards from the front door, and happened to look up to see the immortal like young man in white again, and so early too!

[Hahaha…I knew it….next Mary Sue will be there to rescue his stomach, then he will be persuaded to persuade his stupid short sighted master to take her bro in…sigh…dull…]

Didn’t he came to the Drunken Immortal Restaurant yesterday with those VIP guests? Why is he here alone so early today?

[Because he’s starving, and he’s dumb and the plot requires him to have this weird weakness so that he’s depended on Mary Stew. That’s right, I’m switching from Mary Sue to Mary Stew, guess why.]

Ren Yue did not pay attention to him and barged pasted the Drunken Immortal Restaurant’s front door. He did not head for the private room, but instead chose a seat next to a window and sat down in a most elegant and gentlemanly way.

[Because if he’s at the window, then the plebs could gawk at him. Wait, I thought you don’t want to be gawked at? Make up your mind!]

“Young master… this…” Zhu Zi stuck where he was, unsure what to do.

“Waiter, here are some silver. You go outside, get me some clean and refined delicacies. The rest is yours.” Ren Yue said, taking out some silver pieces from his sleeves.

“Yes, right way! Yang Master please wait!” When he heard that there will be a reward, Zhu Zi could run faster than a rabbit.

“Ai yo, wei! Zhu Xi! Did you get chased by a dog so early in the morning?!” Zhu Zi was unwilling to get into an argument with Wen Shouzhen.

“Good morning Chef Wen! Good morning sister Rou’er!” Zhu Zi was grinning ear to ear as he scratched his head. “The young master in white from yesterday came again. He wants me to buy some morning snacks for him.”

“Ren Yue!” Wen Rou blurted out.

“Rou’er, what did you just say?” Wen Shouzhen was surprised.

“Oh, yesterday I waited upon the VIP guests for last night’s dinner. There’s a young master in white with the surname Ren called Yue.” Wen Rou stuck out her tongue in a childish manner, adding to the impression that she had just remembered these facts randomly. In fact, her heart was fluttering confusedly in her chest, nearly causing her to spill out her secrets.

“Oh, so early, could it be that the young master had some business with us?” Wen Shouzhen muttered to himself, a little worried about a second surprise attack so soon after the first one. The kitchen had been turned upside down by all kinds of weird food request lately.

“Brother Zhu Zi, why don’t you let me go, ba! Afterwards, if manager Li arrived and can’t find you he’ll give us all a big lecture again. Dad, you go and ask, see what that young master Ren is doing here?”

Having said this, she grabbed the money from Zhu Zi’s hands and without saying another word, ran off.

Ren Yue’s particular taste was something that she was most familiar with. Though she tried not to have anything to do with the persons in her past, she could not bear the thought of such a gentle, guileless, tender person suffering from an empty stomach.

[Yeah, I threw up in my mouth a little there.]

“Boss, one sticky rice cake, no sugar please.” Wen Rou made a bee line for Xian Yang’s most famous pastry store..

The soft and smooth sticky rice cake{2} just hot off the pan, without any added sugar has its own mellow aromatic flavour of rice.

Afraid that the rice cake would cool down, she carefully tucked it against her chest and quickly trotted back, nearly losing a shoe quite a few times on the way.

At the entrance of the Drunken Immortal, Wen Rou immediately assumed an air of nonchalance. She took out the still warm sticky rice cake from her bosom and leisurely strolled into the restaurant.

“Here! And this is your change!” Wen Rou dropped both the sticky rice cake and the silver in front of Ren Yue, turned and left for the kitchen.

It took a long time before Ren Yue actually showed any reaction.

[This guy has a tendency to play statue]

He had thought that breakfast would consist of fried dough bread (you tiao), fried pancakes, baked bread or meat buns.

Unexpectedly, right in front of him sat his most beloved sticky rice cake.

[Real subtle there, Mary Stew]

The person who had gotten him the sticky rice cake was none other than that little 12 year old brat Wen Rou.

[No shit Sherlock, no wonder you’re number one scholar and Sir Song Tao’s student. This is the kind of deduction skills we could only dream of]

The sticky rice cake was extremely delicate, and was still letting of faint threads of steam.

[and possibly the faint scent of a 12 year old’s bosom, just sayin’]

Ren Yue reached out a white hand and took a piece and placed it into his mouth.

This is bad…

It was the type he liked best – original taste without any added sugar.

“Give, bring some tea over!” A Sweetly aromatic Pu’er tea appeared in front of Ren Yue.

When he looked again, all he could see was the bulky shadow of a padded cotton dress, the figure of a beautiful maiden’s image. Of Wen Rou disappearing from his sight.

[Is it still paedophilia if he’s 14 while she’s 12? Also, seriously Mary Stew if you want a guy to leave you alone, you could, you know leave him alone first!!!]

 

Ren Yue’s poem:

老師的修為
上可博覽群書、
俯仰天地；
下可拔蔥煮面、
入得廚房，
故而失神，
這就品嘗老師的手藝！
[1]Soy bean pudding – or 豆腦 which translates directly as bean brain, and that stumped me for a moment. Then I googled the actual word and found this:

Where I come from we call it 豆腐花 (tou hu hua) literally tofu flower, which is always served with sweetened water or syrup.

I’ve seen some pictures where the soy bean pudding has been served with spicy sauce, I expect that’s delicious too!

{2} Sticky rice cake – comes in all kinds of flavours, including plain, sweet, savoury, spicy etc.