Chapter 166: One Fat to Rule Them All

 

Translated by Gumihou

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The little marquis was still half sceptical, but then he had not really broken any of his wife’s rules, so she should not have any reason to take revenge against him. Unable to do or say anything else, he continued to chew. His cheeks was starting to ache when a subtle sweetness filled his mouth. He chewed some more and the thing in his mouth started to fall apart and slowly melted. Finally. The little marquis could pinpoint the flavour. With wide eyes he said, “Could this be sweet potato?”

“As expected of a foodie. You can recognise the flavour immediately.” Su Nuan Nuan smiled. “Well? Surely this is a better snack for the crown prince?”

Duan Tingxuan nodded fervently. He chewed a bit more, his mouth filling with the sweet and delicate aroma of sweet potato. Then, he laughed out loud and said, “The most amusing part is the beginning. Though it is difficult bite down at first, the taste gets better the more one chews at it. En, en, en, delicious. This is incredibly delicious. Are there anymore? I’m afraid this little bag won’t be enough, we should have some for our own people to eat.”

“You’re already as tall and willowy as a tree, surely you don’t need these weight loss food? Naturally, we our family won’t be eating these.” Su Nuan Nuan turned to Xiang Yun, “Go and fetch those other Dried Sweet Potatoes for your lord.”

“When did you make these? How come I never noticed?” Duan Tingxuan was looking at her with wonder in his eyes. It made Su Nuan Nuan feel like a Doraemon. She said crossly, “You come here every day and only visited the kitchen and this dining hall. How would you know that my true kingdom is in the back garden? Whatever, since there’s food, eat it. No need to ask more about it. What? Are going to help me make it?”

“Don’t say that, the Cream for example, dear wife still depends on this husband to make it, right?” Duan Tingxuan was grinning cheesily and was about to snuggle up to said wife when there was a loud ‘Miao-oo’, and Zhao Cai hopped onto the table. This time, Duan Tingxuan did not stop him. Instead, he ‘stupidly’ watched as the cat snatched two of the Dried Sweet Potatoes away. He contorted his face into a frown and said, “You stinky cat, how dare you steal my things again. Give it back.”

Su Nuan Nuan rolled her eyes and thought, what a kid this little marquis is, even the third young master lost to you in terms of immaturity. Sure enough, a grieved ‘Miao-oo’ was soon heard. Zhao Cai, who had been gloating over his victory mewed piteously as he tried his best to spit out the Dried Sweet Potatoes. A pair of fuming eyes glared at the little marquis, who was too busy laughing his head off. Feeling as though his honour as a cat had been destroyed, Zhao Cai scuttled off, the mocking laughter of the evil Duan Tingxuan dogging his heels.

Naturally, the Dried Sweet Potatoes meant for the family was much, much softer than the snacks made especially for the crown prince. The exterior was crispy rather than hard, and the insides soft. The crisp texture and fresh taste of sweet potatoes were different from the soft, mushy ones they were used to. Perhaps it was because it had been sun dried, there was a gentle taste the little marquis could only describe as summer-ish. Duan Tingxuan ate five pieces in one sitting. He was reaching for the sixth when Su Nuan Nuan stopped him. “If you eat too much of this you’ll get stomach cramps. Also, if you continue to eat this way, we won’t have any left for the year end.”

“Surely you can just make more?” Duan Tingxuan was not in the least concerned. His annoying ‘Sit and enjoy others’ hard work[3]’ attitude, as well as that infuriating ‘Unaware of real suffering[4]’ carefree outlook grated on Su Nuan Nuan’s nerves. However, she said nothing, merely glaring at the little marquis with an increasingly sinister stare. Finally, the little marquis eventually released his grip on the snacks he had clutched in his claws, muttering, “Whatever, don’t want me to eat, I won’t eat. It’s not like I’m a greedy person…”

Su Nuan Nuan gave an amused sniff, just how big was this person’s face, ah? To think that he could say such a ridiculous thing with a straight face, could it be that his face was bigger than Pacific Ocean?

 

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The next day when the crown prince tasted Su Nuan Nuan’s special Dried Sweet Potatoes, he nearly cried. He stared up at Duan Tingxuan with suspiciously shiny eyes, and was still kneading his cheeks when he said, “Tingxuan, ah. Though I am officially the crown prince and you a subject, but I’m still your elder cousin on your di mother’s side, right? We’re closer than most blood brothers…”

“Your highness, please say what you wish. This person whom you consider as younger brother would surely listen to your words.”

Duan Tingxuan looked sympathetically at the crown prince, then turned to glare at Jiang Changjing and Jiang Changning who were both busy crunching their way through Su Nuan Nuan’s regular Dried Sweet Potatoes: Too insensitive, ah. You two already have all kinds of good things to eat, must you come over to the crown prince’s place to show off? His highness was really happy with his snacks at first, but now that he knew that his portion was different from others, he felt wronged to the point that tears were nearly falling out of his eyes. This guy was the heir to a country, ah. Even if you want to bully him, this was not the way, ah.

“I just want to know, have I somehow offended sister-in-law?” the crown prince was feeling really wronged, ah. Why was it that his two younger brothers got to eat delicious and crispy Dried Sweet Potatoes as snacks but his portion was as hard as rocks? His cheeks nearly went numb after eating just one. This kind of treatment is just too unfair, right? He was the crown prince, you know?

”Your highness exaggerates, you’ve only met a few times, so how could you have offended her?” Duan Tingxuan quickly presented a serious face. No matter what, he can’t allow Su Nuan Nuan be seen as too arrogant.

“Then, why is my portion is hard enough to beat people to death while theirs are light and crispy?” the crown prince couldn’t reign in his annoyance anymore. Face flushed with anger, he smacked the table with his hand, and howled, “Is old four favoured because he misused his authority to make accessories for sister-in-law? And that… that old two, old two have not particular talent, but… could it be… she’s a fan of his <>? It’s not like he was the one to write it, he only gathered the information, ah. But why is it that I, a crown prince, is given this nearly inedible thing? Unless I have somehow offended sister-in-law, why would she give me this thing? I demand an explanation!”

“An explanation… your highness, you really want to know?” Duan Tingxuan sighed painfully. “I think you’re better off not knowing.”

“Speak, I demand that you speak. Here, I’ve ‘Washed my ears for your attention[5]’.” the crown prince continued to howl, having lost all dignity and elegance of an heir to a country. Well, it’s not like there were any servants around to wait on them. The only people here were his closest friends and brothers after all.

“The reason is… your highness is fatter than the other two. A whole lot fatter.” Duan Tingxuan spread out his hand helplessly. “I really don’t want to say it, but your highness, you did press me. I really have no choice but to bring up this unfortunate sore point.”

The crown prince, “… …”

He blinked, and blinked, and blinked some more. Having nearly been choked to death by Duan Tingxuan’s words, the crown prince muttered, “Just because of this? Could it be that… that you didn’t inform sister-in-law that I have lost over 20 catties?”

“I’ve informed her.” Duan Tingxuan nodded earnestly, “but she said that it was too little. Though the crown prince has lost 20 catties, your weight is still over 200 catties. You’re much heavier than second prince, fourth prince and… this cousin of yours.”

“What kind of reasoning is this?” the crown prince looked down at his protruding stomach sorrowfully. In a much smaller voice, he said, “I… just need some time… it’s impossible to thin down suddenly to you people’s size…”

“Need some time, you say?” Duan Tingxuan frowned. “To be honest, you seemed to have put on three catties recently, am I right? I heard that when I was not around, you’ve been gorging on all kinds of snacks.”

“Who was it? Which son of a bitch told you this secret?” the crown prince shouted angrily to cover his shame. Duan Tingxuan said mildly, “There’s no need to be angry, your highness. I can understand your situation. In this cold weather, there is nothing more irresistible than sitting in a warm room and nibbling on snacks while reading books or working on some little problems. To be honest, I too, enjoy passing my time like this at home.”

“Yes, yes, we understand this too.” second prince and fourth prince nodded agreeably on the side. Duan Tingxuan looked over at them, and as expected, the plate of Dried Sweet Potatoes was empty. Heheh! He knew it, otherwise why would these two bother to free their mouths to even speak?

“Is it?” the crown prince felt better to know that he was not the only one who loved eating. He was feeling quite moved by the brotherly bond when Duan Tingxuan pushed the plate of ‘special’ Dried Sweet Potatoes to him. “In order to help you lose weight, Nuan Nuan had especially made these for you.”

“That… many thanks to sister-in-law.” the crown prince raised a hand to rub his cheek again, as he stared at down at the plate of Dried Sweet Potatoes with some fear.

“No need for your highness to thank me. Just think, if I had informed Nuan Nuan about your highness’ 3 catties increase. The hardness level of these Dried Sweet Potatoes would probably have gone beyond rocks.” It’s not like anyone knows that Su Nuan Nuan had sunned these in during autumn, he could still use it to make threats.

As expected, the crown prince’s became even more alarmed. He nodded several times at Duan Tingxuan, “Good brother, I shall remember this favour from you.”

“Your highness, you should remember Nuan Nuan’s care for you.” Duan Tingxuan said ‘earnestly’.

The crown prince stared down at the black sticks of Dried Sweet Potatoes: No, this cannot be termed as care. He will never acknowledge this as care. Wu wu wu…

 

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“Little masters are here? Our madam is inside the house.”

At the sound of the little boys’ voices, Su Nuan Nuan put down her sewing and looked up. Several little boys came running in, the door flaps were sent flying upwards as they sped in. Their little faces flushed with health and excitement. Duan Maosen held up his exercise book which he immediately showed Su Nuan Nuan. “First mother, look. I can write words now.”

Duan Tingxuan has four sons, with Duan Maosen being the youngest. This little guy just had his third birthday and was the cleverest of the lot. You really can’t treat him like an ordinary three year old toddler.

“Yi? Sen’er knows how to write already?” Su Nuan Nuan shifted to let the three children climb onto the kang bed next to her as she looked through Duan Maosen’s book. On it, were several very crooked words. She nodded with a smile, “Not bad, not bad, at your age this is very good.”

“First mother. I want a big brush.” Duan Maosen was unhappy with the little brush he had, and was trying to use his newly acquired writing ability to make his request. “I want a brush just like father’s. A mighty and impressive brush.”

“You can’t be too greedy. That brush is bigger than you. Not only you, even your brothers can’t pick it up. Wait until you’re bigger and your father will gift you one.” Su Nuan Nuan pinched little Duan Maosen’s nose before bidding the maids to bring in some snacks when she noticed that Duan Maochuan was not here. Curious, she asked, “Chuan’er still haven’t gone to school yet? Surely it’s been half a month already hasn’t it? He should be fully recovered by now.”

 

Author White Pear Flower: The crown prince is just too pitiful, 555555[6], I can see myself in his shadow…

 

Gumihou: White Pear Flower is pitiful too, lol!

Also, today was really crazy. It’s my mother’s birthday, so, of course I cooked up a Feast for her Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

But then, part way through my experimental Cherry Blossom Pork from Chapter 094, the stoves gave up their spirits…  щ(゜ロ゜щ)

At this point, none of my dishes were done, so we had to unearth the portable electric burner, which was probably cutting edge when it first came out, but is now older than my youngest sister… I had to call my sister-in-law to bring her portable gas stove with her (she was bringing the cake, wonderful lady) and somehow, everything that was planned ended up on the table!

Menu for Mother’s Birthday:

Blue Pea Flower Rice

Fried Wontons

Wonton in soup

Cherry Blossom Pork

Brazilian Spinach (part of Cherry Blossom Pork’s garnish)

Fried Yellow noodles

 

Phew! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

 

What a day…

 

[1] Rhubarb side effects include: stomach and intestinal pain, watery diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting

[2] Specifically, croton tiglium: well known for its toxicity (severe purgative action), is used for the treatment of constipation

[3] Sit and enjoy others’ hard work – To reap something one has not sown

[4] Unaware of real suffering – basically a an overly privileged person

[5] Washed one’s ears for attention – prepared to carefully listen

[6] 555555 is basically wu wu wu wu wu… haha! The mandarin pronunciation for 5 is wu, lol!

 

  ^_^

Translated by Gumihou from kitchennovel dot com.

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