Chapter 213: Wrath

 

Translated by Gumihou

Please read this at kitchennovel dot com

 

“Just say yes, or no.” said Lu Feng Yu staring straight at Duan Tingxuan.

His eyes caused Duan Tingxuan to quietly put his guard up. On the surface, he pulled a bitter smile and said, “If master asks me like this, then this lowly one must say that she is this humble one’s wife. How would this one bear to just let someone else take her away? Even if the other person is a prince or a marquis, or even the old emperor himself, she’s still my woman, ah.

Unless… unless I’m dead. I might be cowardly, but I’m not so cowardly that I would give away my wife just like that. Master, has master heard some news from the nobles at the Capital? I just can’t imagine it, my wife has quite a temper on her, and though she’s not bad looking, she’s not a fickle woman, ah.”

“I’m just joking with you.” Lu Feng Yu suddenly appeared very cheerful. His chopsticks started moving rapidly and he murmured through bulging cheeks, “That Ms. Wang’s temper, only you alone can bear it. Other people would have divorced her as soon as possible, don’t you think so? Speaking of which, you sure are a good-for-nothing. In most relationships, the husband is the breadwinner. To think that it’s the reverse in your case. What an embarrassment to all menfolk.”

Duan Tingxuan privately sighed with relief and grinned, “Even if all the men in the world thinks like master do, what does it has to do with me? I only wish to protect my wife and for us live a calm and peaceful life together.”

Lu Feng Yu nodded. He sighed again and said, “Speaking of which, if I have a wife who would cook such wonderful meals for me every day, I’d wish for nothing else. All she has to do is polish her cooking skills and I’d be happy. However, I have no such fortune. Liang Shou, though you are a commoner, you’re luckier than this master, ah.”

Duan Tingxuan felt like some cold breeze had blown through his body, all the hairs on his skin stood up. Wait a minute, just what are you talking about? Could it be that this disgraceful thing had set his eyes upon Nuan Nuan? No wonder he specifically called for me tonight and said all those nonsense. Curses, was he trying to hint for me to sell my wife for merit? Even after I’ve already made my protest, is that you hinting that you’ll be taking my wife by force anyway? Lu Feng Yu, ah, Lu Feng Yu. Are you trying to find a good day to die? This lord could kill you at this very instant, you know?

“Just as master said, it is this lowly one’s luck of a lifetime.”

As it was not yet time to reveal their most powerful tile [1], Duan Tingxuan could only swallow his wrath and play the fool before this venomous snake Lu Feng Yu. He bowed his head and, after a quick, shallow breath, raised his eyes to say sincerely, “Master, this one knows that master treats us very well. This lowly one and his common wife could only hope to repay master by serving you the best we can. Forgive this one for speaking frankly, but it’s because people with good cooking skills are rare that the two of us are able to live such a good life under your care.

This lowly one understands this very well. As long as master does not kick us out, we shall be very glad to stay here. In the future, if master found a celestial like wife, and have little children with here, we shall gladly serve mistress and all the little masters.”

“You sure are quick-witted.” Lu Feng Yu chuckled. He knew that this Duan Tingxuan had just rejected his proposal. Of course, he had never expected the other party to agree. How could a dignified noble young master of the Marquis of An Ping be willing to sell his wife? Or even pretended to? It would be the greatest disgrace of all. He had actually called Duan Tingxuan over for a different reason. He had only brought up this matter to throw the man off his true motive.

He ate another two bites of food before staring into space. When the sound of the night watchman’s clapper signalled the second bell, Lu Feng Yu gave a little belch, and stood up, “Today is my mother’s death anniversary. I don’t really have that much of an appetite. Enough, it’s late, you may leave…”

Just then, someone came, called from the gate and said in an excited voice. “Your excellency, this one has some important matter to report.”

“What matter can’t wait till morning? Must you be here at this late hour?” Lu Feng Yu swayed a little, looking a little drunk. He must be intoxicated, otherwise he’d never had uttered such silly words. For people to rush over at this hour, the matter naturally could not wait until morning.

“It is a most urgent and vital matter.” The subordinate remained just outside the moon door. Clearly he was afraid of coming in without permission.

Lu Feng Yu frowned, thought for a while before waving a dismissive hand at Duan Tingxuan, “Enough, you go back first. You can clean this place uo tomorrow.” He waited until Duan Tingxuan had left before calling the man over. “Well? Speak your business.”

Duan Tingxuan pretended to shuffle slowly away, ears straining to hear what was being spoken. Unfortunately, the subordinate was cautious and bent close to whisper his report to Lu Feng Yu’s ears. Therefore, not even the little marquis’ super hearing could pick up what was said.

Suddenly, Lu Feng Yu’s voice called out, “What?”

It was followed by the sound of someone collapsing onto a stone bench. Duan Tingxuan’s heart trembled, he was about to stop and listen when he spotted Lu Feng Yu’s personal maids, Lu Qi and Hong Lou coming over with lanterns in their hands. He dared not tarry any longer and quickly stepped forward to give them a greeting.

Just then, Lu Feng Yu’s voice raged, “You’re all useless! My plans are all ruined, useless abominations, rubbish, good-for-nothings…”

There was nothing else after that, and Duan Tingxuan could only carry his curiosity back to his room. The next day, he picked a time when there was no one around to update Su Nuan Nuan of what had happened last night.

Su Nuan Nuan said, “Could Lu Feng Yu have deliberately drawn you in to overhear that?”

Duan Tingxuan frowned, “If he deliberately lets me overhear it, why didn’t he disclose anything at all? Moreover, he had people come over just at that very moment, preventing me from hearing anything at all. I believe that something must really be up. It’s just too bad that I wasn’t able to find out anything. The reason why he called me over was merely to investigate the strength of my feelings towards my wife.”

When he reached this point, he gritted his teeth, “To think that shameless thing dared to cast his eyes on you. I will tear his body to pieces. No, before that I will gouge out his eyes…”

Su Nuan Nuan interrupted pertly, “Enough with that, have you forgotten how I disliked pointless death? And what’s all that talk about gouging out eyes and tearing bodies to pieces. To be fair, though he is at fault, it is not one that deserves a lingering death.”

Duan Tingxuan sneered, “The crime of scheming for King Xianyang’s ambition is heavy enough for a lingering death. But, you’re right. Mere death is too lenient for him. En, when the time comes let’s sell him to a Gentlemen’s Brothel [2]. It would be most excellent to see a proud, arrogant scholar like him who thinks himself above material pursuits fall from grace…”

Suddenly, he remembered that he was speaking in front of his own wife and he chuckled embarrassedly, “Enough, I shall not dirty your ears anymore. It would be best to reduce that snake to a hell where he could neither live nor die in peace [3].”

“Actually… he hadn’t really done anything too bad, ba?” Su Nuan Nuan hesitated. She couldn’t help but think that this very line was often spoken by handsome protagonists, but this first madam never thought she’d actually hear it said so seriously in front of her.

“Have you forgotten how he had those dogs killed without blinking? The first time he met you he tried to instigate others against you. Also, for the sake of forcing us into this place, he employed unscrupulous methods and instigated King Xiangyang to move us here. Not to mention all those people who died from his plans. And tonight! Tonight he actually tried to set his dog eyes on you. Moreover, these are only the things that we have personally seen and heard. Who knows how many people have been ruined by his poisonous methods…”

As Duan Tingxuan listed out Lu Feng Yu’s sins, Su Nuan Nuan eventually nodded agreeably, “You’re right. Let’s sell him to a Gentlemen’s Brothel. This kind of evil guy should be np to death.”

“… what is en-pee to death?” Duan Tingxuan looked at his wife with a slightly horrified 囧囧 expression.

“Oh, that is… let’s not talk about that anymore or you’ll really dirty your ears.” Su Nuan Nuan laughed awkwardly and quickly changed the subject.

 

Author White Pear Flower: Boss Lu, you’re really in a No Zhuo No Die situation, ah. Hahahaha!

 

[Gumihou: Ahahahaha… I had to look up np, then check with the translators’ discord group and ask some people for the meaning… apparently n is a mathematical symbol… Hahahaha, comment if you want to know the meaning of np… (๑꒪⍘꒪๑)]

 

[1] Tile – I expect it’s mah-jong tile, lol

 

[2] Gentlemen’s Brothel – Male prostitute brothel

 

[3] 求生不得求死不能 (Qiúshēng bùdé qiú sǐ bùnéng) – This line is very famous especially for revenge stories. Literally, ‘Not allowed to wish for life, can’t wish for death’ or in more natural English ‘Could neither live nor die in peace’. Though I must admit the Chinese version is so much more dramatic sounding, especially in Cantonese.

 

 

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Translated by Gumihou from kitchennovel dot com.

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