Part 7: Osaka’s Auntie Fights a Dragon
Chapter 33: The Dragon Who Demands Miso
Translated by Zzonkedd
Edited by Gumihou
“Miso?”
Natalia blanked out for a moment. Just what the heck was that? She had no idea what it was… wait, somehow, she had a feeling that she had heard that word before.
“As expected, even you have no idea what miso is. Or, could it be that you’re taking my demands lightly?”
“How could I? Of course not! But how can I give you something when I have absolutely no idea what you’re asking for?”
“Humph, people without much knowledge are useless to me. Now die.”
“Wait! Wait! I might have heard of this word before… I’m sure of it…? Come on brain, remember it. Please, just give me a little time to remember!”
“No. These are just words spouted by weaklings who do not want to die. Tricks like this won’t work on Great Me.”
“It’s true! It really is true!”
“Your words are utterly untrustworthy. Everyone, come and burn this beastgirl to ashes…”
“How could you say such things to a lady, nen!”
Suddenly, the voice of Haruna, who should have been sleeping by the way, interrupted them. They all looked in the direction where Haruna was supposed to be fast asleep and was in time to see her leaping into the air with her sword.
Sword clenched tightly in one hand, she landed directly in front of the Dragon Boss and struck him in the face.
“Tei!”
The entire weight of Haruna’s monstrous power was behind that strike.
“Guuwaaaaah!”
Taken by surprise, the Dragon Boss tipped over and fell to the ground with a tremendous crash.
“Unforgivable, you’ve taken your jokes too far and it’s not funny anymore!”
More attacks followed. It’s clear that the fight favoured one side only.
“I’ll rip out your beard and offer it to the Atsuta Jingu Shrine [1]!”
“Understood… Great Me gives up… so stop hitting. Also, don’t rip off my beard….”
The Dragon Boss admitted defeat and the result of the battle was in Haruna and Natalia’s favour.
“I… I’m saved…” Natalia clutched at her magic staff, sighing with relief as she absorbed the fact that she had survived. “I’m so glad you managed to wake up just in time…”
“Actually, I wasn’t asleep,” Haruna admitted without hesitation.
“Huh?”
“I was just pretending to be asleep. No Breath Attacks would work on me. That includes the Breath of Sleep, of course.”
“Wait, wait, wait, why would you pretend to sleep at such a time? Why would you do that?”
Natalia’s head was about to explode from trying to make any sense out of all this.
“Ehh, that dragon did say something like ‘If I hit you with my breath, you will sleep for three days and three nights’ right? I feel like I’d ruin the mood if I didn’t play along, yan.”
“The mood? Apologies, but I seriously have no idea what you’re trying to say…”
“You know how kids like to go around pretending they can shoot fire magic and whatnot. Even though they can’t really use it, they still pretend to take damage. So I sort of did the same thing, yan.”
In Osaka, if you shoot at random strangers with pistol fingers with a resounding ‘Bang’ the victim would dramatically collapse from a ‘gunshot wound’ [2]. No rehearsal needed, you can just point and go ‘Bang!’ at any random Osakan and the person would clutch at their chest and ‘die’ a dramatic death.
This behaviour may have been influenced by television, but the people of Osaka really seemed obliged to clutch at their imaginary ‘wound’ and collapse to the ground when ‘shot’. Though one might see this role play thing happening in other cities, it is much more prevalent within Osaka.
“I think getting angry would get me nowhere, so I’ll just forget about this…” Natalia sighed a long-suffering sigh. She looked very tired. To be fair, near-death experiences were incredibly mentally taxing.
“Ah, that’s right, ya. What’s all that talk about handing miso over as tribute, ya?” Haruna turned to the Dragon Boss again and said sternly, “I don’t know what beef you have against the humans, but you had better start talking, de.”
“Great Me has lost, Great Me shall speak…” The Dragon Boss said as he tucked his wings away neatly.
“When Great Me was a dragonling of 30 years, my powers already towered above all other dragons. Hence, Great Me was elected as the Boss of Dragons for all dragons…”
It would appear that the dragon society was one that centred around strength as well.
“Great Me has been doing my job as Dragon Boss for many years. However, quite suddenly Great Me wishes for something so badly that Great Me cannot stand it anymore, and that is-”
At this point, the Dragon’s expression resembled some lovesick person praising the virtues of their lover.
“I want to see miso!” The Dragon roared out suddenly, overwhelmed by his emotions.
“Though I cannot fully remember what miso is exactly, the desire, the yearning, the longing and craving flooded my mind! Therefore, I want to eat miso. I want to eat it so badly that my entire body is tingling for it. I cannot calm down or sleep, I want miso! If those humans cannot offer me the tribute of miso, I shall-”
Of course, no one from this world knows anything about the existence of miso. Unable to offer it up as a tribute to appease the dragon, the people were attacked. This was quite a series of unfortunate events for the villagers living around this area.
“Graaaahhh!! Just what is this miso!!!?”
“If it’s miso, I have it, de.”
“As expected, miso shall remain a mystery that is forever out of my— WHAT?!”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how Haruna was able to solve the whole ‘Dragon Problem’.
Please read this at kitchennovel dot com ~
It was then that Natalia finally remembered where she had heard this miso thing. Every now and then, when Haruna was feeling down, she would take out a portion of it to lick on it. It was also one of the ingredients used to make the soba dipping sauce.
However, this time, Haruna’s expression showed some uncertainty.
“I do have miso, but not enough to satisfy someone of your size. I think I can come up with something satisfactory, but, hmm…” Haruna’s solution was unusually open-ended.
It was then that Natalia remembered how Haruna would only take out a tiny portion of the miso to lick, and only when she was feeling particularly down. Though she had used some of the miso to make the Soba sauce, it was clearly something very precious to her.
Despite having offered to share the miso with the dragon, Haruna’s face was a little stiff this time.
“However, I’m not sure if you will be satisfied with eating miso like that. We won’t know until we try it though, right? I’ll do whatever I can. Give me a ride to the town of Old Saxon, ya.”
Normally, the Boss of Dragons would not fly with a human on its back. However, since he had lost to Haruna and was eager to taste the miso, he agreed immediately.
[Gumihou: All dragons bow to Haruna]
[1] Atsuta Jingu Shrine – very popular shrine during new year
https://www.atsutajingu.or.jp/en/intro/
[2] It’s called the ‘Bang’ – Please see the video evidence below, lol!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0rh_l92cwo
