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Tondemo Skill – 287 – That’s Really Unfair, God of Creation

Chapter 287: That’s Really Unfair, God of Creation

 

Translated by Zzonkedd

Edited by Gumihou and Onionpi

Please read this at kitchennovel dot com

 

Eguchi Ren-sama: This is the last chapter for the God of Creation

Sorry for the late update, even now Gumi is struggling with patchy internet…

 

“Have you calmed down yet?”

“Apologies, I seemed to have lost myself for a bit…”

Maa, I mean, it’s marriage after all. While I’m sure those high school kids went through a lot of ordeals together. But… they are still, you know, high school students?!

To think they actually got themselves into a teen marriage.

Then again, they are old enough to get married in this world, so, I guess it’s alright?

Ugh, ugh, ugh! The reason I’m against this is my single status!!!

Why am I, an adult nearing his 30s still single while teenagers are getting into a three-way marriages?!

Haah… anyway, it’s good to hear that they are doing their best to adapt to this world. I guess I don’t have to worry about them.

Let’s not think about it anymore.

Although it felt a little late, I felt obliged to ask the God of Creation something.

“God of Creation-sama, is it possible to get back to our previous world…”

“Impossible, I’m afraid not.”

Ah, I thought so.

Since he said that Summoning Rituals are prohibited, I have a feeling that we may never leave this place.

Umu, the Hero Summoning is a ritual that basically rips opens a hole in the dimension. It is extremely dangerous. This time, the hole closed naturally on its own so it’s still fine. However, if the hole in the dimension did not close but continued to expand. This world and the ones parallel to it would be destroyed.”

[4] “In other words, the world would be destroyed,” [7] I sighed. [1] “Can’t you as a god do anything about it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Just because I’m a god doesn’t mean I can do whatever I like. If a hole in the dimension expands. The expansion will happen immediately. No matter what kind of god I am, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Oh? It’s that dangerous?

Well, I’m glad that neither this world nor my world is coming to an end.

I’m also glad to hear that that despicable Kingdom of Reijseger will most likely be destroyed in a war. That stupid pig king and his cronies were the ones who performed the summoning. I hope the war wipes them out.

Clearly, people should not have too much power in their hands or it will go into their heads.

“Is there anything else you wish to ask?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve heard what I wanted to know.”

“Well, well, what should I do about this bunch of idiots here…”

Ah, that’s right. Those other Gods and Goddesses. I was a little distracted just now but I suddenly recalled how angry God of Creation was with them. [5] [6] I mean, it’s a pain to make offerings every week, but I did come to this world with very minimum combat skills and…

“Soft, you are too soft! In the first place, these miscreants here did not report the matter to me. Therefore they must be punished!”

Uun, I guess. Since the God of Creation said so, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Gununu, if you’re going to do something why don’t you try harder?!”

Ninril-sama’s resentful voice hissed in my head, along with a chorus of ‘that’s right, that’s right’ from the other gods and goddesses.

“That’s enough from you!”

That thunderous roar was followed by ‘nuu’ and ‘guu’ of dissatisfaction.

“You are all grounded for one month. No contact with Mukouda. Reflect on your actions!”

“N-nooo. C-cake… desserts from another world… what should I do if I can’t eat them?!”

“W-wait… my toner, milk lotion, beauty cream and serum… 1 month? W-what if I run out in that one month?”

“Beeeeerrr!! It’s all gone! What should I do if I don’t have beer for a whole month!!??”

“…sweets and food… sweets and food… sweets and food…”

“Nuoooooo!!! M-my whiskey!!”

“A-a whole month without liquor? How can I?!”

A storm of objections rose against the God of Creation.

“Enough! Should I extend your punishment to 2 months? Hmm?”

[5] The sudden silence was deafening.

“Good grief, what a troublesome bunch. Well, go back to your palaces. Stay there and reflect.”

There was a rustle of clothes and heavy thread of footsteps following that order.

[7] When it was silent again, the God of Creation sighed, “Phew, goodness me. They’re finally gone.”

Well, it’s only for a month so do your best to hang on.

“Speaking of which, Mukouda. I have a request.”

“A request? What can a mortal like me do for you?” I’ll do my best for the creator of this world but I wonder what I could actually do.

“To be honest, [4] I am friends with the Earth God. We meet up now and again. I must say, whenever we do meet, [5] that god always treats me to something good. Perhaps it’s due to the [9] diversity of your culture but you have quite a variety of drinks there. Recently, Earth God has been treating me to something called ‘saké’. I believe that’s a drink from your home country?”

“Yes, it’s something from my homeland.”

“I believe you know your way around your drinks. I’m not one to beg but if you make an offering to me, I shall be quite appreciative.”

Yes, yes, I understand.

All things considered, I do believe that a big boss like the God of Creation would be reliable if I happen to get into some kind of trouble in this world. Giving saké for the promise of future safety is pretty cheap, all things considered.

I can just think of it as something like buying insurance.

[5] I opened up Tanaka’s Liquor Shop and clicked on the ‘Saké’ tab.

[6] “… …”

Like the whiskey menu, the ‘Saké’ menu cascaded down to reveal: Junmai Daiginjo Saké, Daiginjo Saké, Junmai Ginjo Saké, Ginjo Saké, Junmai Saké, Honjozo Saké, Ordinary Saké, Nigori Saké, Sparkling Saké [10].

To be honest, I’m not that familiar with saké.

Anyway, let’s have a look at the Ranking List. It’s faster to just pick out something there than to poke around on my own in this never-ending list.

Let’s see, after a quick study of the Monthly Ranking List, I chose three bottles that looked good.

 

Rank No. 3

Junmai Daiginjo Saké [5]

Niigata prefecture, the bottle bears the name of the shop that made it.

Highly popular with a gentle mellow taste. This saké is best served chilled to better enjoy its fresh and fruity flavour.

 

Rank No. 1.

Junmai Daiginjo Saké

Saké from the Yamaguchi Prefecture. Made famous as a gift to a *president of the United States and appearing in various anime and movies.

Sweet and smooth texture. Taste a little sweet but with a sharp aftertaste. Suitable to have before or during meals.

 

*The President in question is Barack Obama-sama. It was also given to Russian President Vladimir Putin

https://www.asahishuzo.ne.jp/en/news/publication/004737.html

https://www.nippon.com/en/features/c00618/

 

Rank No. 7

Ginjo Saké

The current most popular saké overseas, recognised by a famous 3-star chef in Paris.

It’s a Ginjo saké imbued with the fragrance of tropical fruits. Mellow and sweet.

 

*Most likely this one, but it’s described as soft and rich with ripe peach aromas and contains a light fizz. The description by Eguchi-san might be wrong since I can’t imagine ‘eau de tropical fruits’ going well with French cuisine

https://www.saketora.com/blogs/feature-story/miwatari-junmai-ginjo-petillant

https://www.mtcsake.com/sake/miwatari-petillant-junmai-ginjo

 

I got all three bottles, [6] including the No. 7 since it’s popular with foreigners. You can’t get more foreign than a god from another world, after all.

In addition to the saké, I also bought a premium gift set of 12 canned snack foods that include luxurious things like sardines in oil, smoked oysters, simmered black pig and corned beef. [11]

I placed everything on the cardboard box altar and put my hands together, [1] “God of Creator-sama, please accept my offering of three bottles of saké and snacks.”

“Oh, do pardon me,”

“Not at all,” to be able to establish a relationship with the God of Creator in this world with just this is considered cheap.

I don’t mind making offerings to a God like this. Compared to the others, this God has the dignity of a deity and trust me to give him the best. Unlike certain noisy gods and goddesses…

“God of Creation-sama, thank you for your continuous support,”

Umu, umu, yes, yes. I’ll give you some protection too. It will have to be a (small) blessing though. If I were to give you a regular blessing, I’m afraid you’d no longer be human. Fufufu,”

“No longer human? Closer to god? A demigod perhaps?”

“Something like that. You’d be human but you won’t age or die,”

“Something like immortality? That’s kind of incredible.”

“It’s a blessing that all powerful people and royalties coveted. [1] [4] I once blessed a hero with this a long time ago. His immortality is recorded in history I think. By the way, immortality doesn’t mean the person will never die. If the body is badly damaged, it will eventually die. I believe that hero almost died in a battle against a legendary beast.”

[6] “Woah, I guess that makes sense,”

“In fact, I believe he fought this Fenrir’s uncle.”

“Eh?” Wow, if he fought Fer’s senior relative. That hero must have been quite powerful.

“Speaking of which, with this (small) blessing you will have the same lifespan as a high elf.”

“High elf? Just how long is that?”

“An ordinary elf has a lifespan of 500 years. A high elf lives three times longer than that.”

“1500 years!?” [5]

For a moment, the number bounced around in my head as I tried to wrap my mind around this.

1500 years? I guess, I won’t be too lonely since I have Fer, Dora-chan and Sui with me…

“It’s a good thing to have a long life. That way, you’ll find a love partner no matter how unlucky you are,”

“I suppose that makes sense but, wait. Isn’t it easier to just raise my love luck?”

“Isn’t that too boring?”

“Wait, no, God of Creation! What’s the meaning of that remark?!”

“Ah, it’s about time we end our talk.”

“Wait, wait! God of Creation-samaaa!”

“Farewell.”

“Wait, God of creation!! Please, instead of improving my lifespan, improve my love luckkkkk!!!”

 

[Gumihou: I’d take the 1500 years.]

 

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Changed Details: In the original text, God of Creation credited the variety of alcohol to Earth being ‘more advanced’. Which is incorrect. Switch to ‘diversity’ instead.

[10] All kinds of Saké

Grades of premium Saké

https://www.takarasake.com/about-sake/types-sake-0

Futsushu or Ordinary saké

https://japaneserecipes.fandom.com/wiki/Futsushu_(sake)

 

[11] Yes, the Japanese do have canned goods as gift sets. They have canned mussels simmered in wine, yakitori chicken, grilled scallops, grilled yellow tail, smoked salmon, smoked mackeral, pepper bacon (cut into cubes), pickled eggs…

https://item.rakuten.co.jp/e-mon-p/kb-zera-10/

 

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This Post Has 26 Comments

  1. D

    If he make a habit of it there would be no difference between the creator and the gods he punished

  2. ruisovii

    Doesn’t that mean he can’t die? He has damage inmunity, and a life spam of 1470 years left. And with double experience, he will eventually reach level 1000, maybe then he can become a Lesser God of Cooking if he were to get the full blessing of the Creation God.

    1. Gumihou

      With so much life left, one has to wonder how he’s going to spend it.

      1. NeroZeroes

        He’s 30, without any woman, so he really turn into a wizard lol

      2. ruisovii

        Assuming he doesn’t mentally break, Fer and co. will probably keep draging him around, exploring dungeons, getting rarer ingredients, maybe starting a restaurant where he can teach others how to cook like him so he doesn’t have too and a super market where he sells his ‘premium’ condiments that way he doesn’t sell Feru’s food. He can probably train a powerfull party that just farm the lower floors of the meat dungeon to supply his restaurant. Like there is so much stuff he can do… though I don’t see him getting a girlfriend… like it is easier for him to be labled as a Lesser God to be honest, specially when several centuries roll by and he still looks the same. He would have to get someone with a similar situation than him… maybe he would later get a familiar that will evolve into a humanoid creature that will share his burden.

      3. eli

        why need a love life when you have those cuties? they can be demanding but they’re reliable and loyal. and hey, a woman can be more demanding than them. so just love your babies then you’ll have a love life. 🤣

  3. Luna

    I was going to mention this in the feodora chapter but I think I didn’t… So I’ll say it here even tho I’m late to the party and probably won’t be seen.

    What’s the problem with her having grandkids? That, REALLY shouldn’t be the issue. What are the chances of a 1,5k years species marrying someone and staying with that someone for all that time?
    Pretty, preeeetty slim. Actually, if they do want to be together for centuries but even millennia, chances are, giving time to each other and even having other, short relationships in between is a must. And that is without even considering poly amory.

    We just don’t know/have enough info on how this worlds elves are. Does it take them 100+y to grow? Do they only have a few kids each 70-100y? What’s the lore?
    These are the things that not even d&d explore, cause the stories don’t focus on world building and different species different life/cultures and outlooks. Only some few books will explore this in depth.
    (And that’s ok, cause diff stories will have diff focus. Some are just about adventure/action, than world building)

    But for all we know and general elf lore, feodora was STILL A CATCH, even more so cause she already have grandkids.
    After all, what’s the chance of him meeting an adult elf that didn’t have a childhood sweetheart, married, and had a couple of kids?

    Feodora having grandkids, shouldn’t be an issue, the question here is where she has a husband, bf or something. Even if she does, how much time are they separate? She’s been adventuring with the party for years.
    And she having grandkids is GREAT. Cause it means her kids are grown enough already to not only take care of themselves/not butt in, but are even at the age they have their own family and are busy taking care of others.

    Remember, for such a long lived species, unless you’re robbing them from the cradle and spent decades hikari-genjiying them (and then I must say, wth?) chances are most adults will have had a romance before, and might be looking for a new relationship after previous ones (possibly with kids) didn’t work/needed time.

    If you guys can’t even accept the girl taking off some time from time to time to go play with her grandkids, would you even put up with getting together with a girl that has to spend decades/a whole century to raise her child? And that that would be her priority?

    Being against feodora just cause she has grandkids is a bias. Whereas by that same mentality, it should be a plus. No kid from previous marriage to raise.

    But even so, you’re just making it even more difficult to single moms. If you really liked the girl, either for a casual, no strings relationship or to make a family, she having a kid shouldn’t be an issue. Even more so in fantasy with long lived species like elves around.

    1. Gumihou

      Hmm, I think the main issue with grandkids is that it’s proof Feodora ‘already has a partner’. Which is why Mukouda-san is sed…

  4. Hamster

    With his long lifespan, he might get to see some of Fer’s and Dora-chan’s offspring one day. But he’ll probably need to buy a huge ranch-sized farm if some of the pixie dragons are going to hang around. A normal farm isn’t big enough to also have forest, meadow, and pond areas as well as the crop growing areas so that the farm is revenue-neutral.

    1. Gumihou

      A farming isekai?

      That will be nice too

    2. saffron

      It’s very good then that Mukoda is very, very rich…on that note, a partner? For Fer and Dora-chan? Oh wow, it’s never even crossed my mind…

  5. LonerGoth

    The only female characters in this series with any developments, are the deplorable goddesses. I think the author is hinting at those girls being mukouda’s only love interests. Especially since the heart grows fonder in absence? So yeah, if we assume godly hood is the only path he can go down now, ninril will end up end girl?

    1. Gumihou

      Ninril might be willing, but I doubt Mukouda will want her…

    2. saffron

      No thank you! I still don’t like the deplorable gods and goddesses (except Ruka). Mukoda also has a lifespan of 1500 years now, equal to a high elf according to the creation god. So hey, maybe he’ll get an elf girlfriend after all! I wonder how long half elf/half humans live?

  6. SFcipher

    I guess he probably won’t have any romantic interaction anytime soon.
    Thanks for the treat.

  7. Hamster

    Well, Mukouda doesn’t seem to have all that much resentment against the three high schoolers marrying each other in a polyamory. What I don’t like to see is his comment about “let’s not think about it anymore” which seems like the author is signaling that the story is going to ignore the three former heroes from now on. They were only in the story as a plot device to get Mukouda summoned and spurned by the summoners.

    1. Gumihou

      He’s probably too upset about people being in a relationship while he’s still a single dog.

  8. Am I UnDead Yet?

    He’s not a V~G, but hasn’t visited a brothel yet.

    Money, immunity to status abnormalities and poisons and now a ton of time on his hands….

    Problem is that he will end up swindled into being the madam’s chef.

  9. Gackt1

    Well, at least now Mukouda will have a lot of time and chance to try…

  10. King Amon Wrath

    To everyone saying that they would take the longer life span i actually agree with Mukouda i would actually prefer a better love luck because now his options r even more limited since he will live longer he cant be with human women because they would grow old and die while he would look the same, we havent seen dwarf women but they only live double the life span of humans. So his only option would be high elves because they would have similiar life spans but it would be harder for him to find one close to his current age that doesnt have grandkids (F in the chat for failed glutton elf love). Or for him to make the complete elixer for him to gain immortality and also give it to whoever he loves so they can be immortal together. That or for him to become a god ( God of Food! Or Cooking! Or Supermarkets) and be with one of the goddesses in the other chapter Kishar and ruka didnt dislike him like the other two so he might get lucky also endless amounts of stuff he could give them. ( No… HE IS THE GOD OF SUGAR DADDIES) Either way it looks like he will be stuck cooking for those three, diving dungeons, dealing troublesome gods, and chasing grannies for the rest of his isekai life…. still a better life than mine. 🙁

  11. Philip

    Lulz, poor Mukoda, still not getting a girl. Now he should have a much longer time to get one, but this doesn’t mean sooner. Well, at least a month break from those pesky gods, though I wonder why they don’t try something else, like copying Mukoda’s unique skill, maybe creating their own version of isekai isekai stuff (isekaiception). Somehow, I think the biggest reason would be, they be lazy 😀
    Thanks for the second chapter this week! Awesome translation! May God bless you!

    1. Gumihou

      I think it’s probably impossible to copy Mukouda’s unique skill

  12. Countrymage

    Well if he already has the lifespan of one, then there should be no problem chasing down an Elf girlfriend. Even though Feodora turned out to be a granny, she’s still cute, and and maybe she can introduce you to some friends.

  13. michael munthe

    Hahhahahahhahhah…

  14. Weng

    i’ll take the 1500 years too, especially if it comes with eternal youth/ I am stuck in my 20s

    1. Am I UnDead Yet?

      Aim for your 30s.
      Still able to muscle up and keep fit while being able to project a confident and experienced demeanor to others.

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