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Tondemo Skill – 564 – Creep Creep

Chapter 564 – Creep Creep

Author: Eguchi Ren

Translated by Gumihou

Edited by Gumihou >_<

 

“Haaahh… I’m finally back…”

From the moment we left the house… no, even before that, it had all been chaos.

First, I was taken to a strange hunting ground filled with carnivorous, fire-breathing dinosaurs; after coming back from that, I was lectured by an oni-faced Willem-san and then, was whisked away to the Adventurer’s Guild only to be stared by the judgy faces of the elders.

It was an incredibly outrageous day.

Not to mention, my familiars did so well at the hunt that they wiped out an entire species off this planet, world, planet? Anyway, the rare and endangered Supersaurus was now the extinct Supersaurus.

As for the root of all evil…

Oi, I’m hungry.”

Umu, we were so busy hunting today that we did not even have lunch. I am famished.”

“”Right~? Right~? Let’s have some grub now!””

By ‘grub’, I’m guessing Dora-chan meant food, right? Just where is he picking up all these weird slang words from?

“”Sui is hungry too~~””

Ahh, my Sui-tan…

Too bad everyone seemed to have forgotten what I said before.

Well, that’s fine. I can just remind them.

“So, you are all hungry?”

Umu, today’s hunting was one of the best exercises I’d ever had in a while.”

“I agree, it was quite good.”

“”Yeah! I get to use up loads of magic!””

“”Sui pew pew pew pew a lot~””

“Is that so? Well, go wait in the living room while I prepare your dinner.”

Without waiting to hear an answer, I headed for the kitchen.

[1] Once there, I stared at the shiny countertops and stoves for a while, lost in thought.

“… I did say that everyone will be receiving their proper punishment for what they did to the Supersaurus, yes?”

That’s enough contemplation. I called up [Net Super] and put in a large order of a certain something. Something that would be even more effective than vegetables. I really shouldn’t waste Alban’s precious vegetables on something that was meant to be punishment

Once the cardboard boxes arrived, I opened them up and took out a bag of ‘five-slice loaf’. Bread is one of the few things from [Net Super] that would not raise the status of those who consume it. I will never make the same mistake of feeding any of my familiars A5 Wagyu ever again.

Anyway, the boxes contained nothing but sliced bread. Lots and lots of sliced bread. To be fair, these sliced breads could be really nice, once in a while, when toasted or made into sandwiches. It could even be eaten on its own in a pinch but…

I stared at the mountains of plain sliced bread in front of me.

“Good.”

I’m having bread too, of course. I’m not cruel enough to eat meat in front of them.

However, I will be having Teresa’s special country-style bread along with a bowl of vegetable soup made with Alban’s vegetables.

In fact, let’s go all out and make some Soybean Stewed with Tomatoes [2] as a spread for the bread.

I know this dish sounds weird, but it’s really delicious and easy to make.

First, fry some minced garlic in olive oil, add in the chopped onion and stir-fry until fragrant. Next, drop in the bacon and drained canned soybeans, once the bacon is fragrant, add a can of whole tomatoes and a couple of roughly chopped fresh tomatoes. Season with salt and pepper.

After that, all I had to do was let it simmer down while I roughly squashed down the whole tomatoes. This nutritious dish packed full of soybean goodness is done once the liquid has been reduced to less than half and can now be eaten on bread,

Super healthy!

Lots of veggies!

“Now that I’ve prepared my portion, it’s time to feed my familiars.”

 

Please read this at kitchennovel dot com ~

 

“Hmm? Why aren’t you all eating?”

I said after taking another bite of my open-face sandwich made with Teresa’s country-style bread and Soybean Stewed with Tomatoes.

“Why aren’t we all eating, he says…”

“No, that is… Master…”

“”No, no, no, this is just…””

“”Aruji~~?””

The Gluttonous Quartet stared at the piles of bread on their plates in confusion.

“What are you talking about? That’s your dinner,” I said, taking another large bite of my bread.

“Wha-”

“This-”

“”Hey-“”

“”No~~””

“I already told you, didn’t I? That you will be properly punished? You seemed to have forgotten it. That’s fine, you have plenty of time to reflect on your mistakes.”

The mistake of wiping out an entire species. Who cares if they were monstrous, carnivorous dinosaurs? It’s wrong to cause extinction, that’s why.

“You were… serious?”

“Ku… I thought Master was just saying it…”

“”Don’t you usually just scold us a bit before giving us delicious food?!””

“”Sad…””

Fufun~ looks like I had been too lenient with you guys, none of you ever had a scrap of respect for me.

“Just be grateful that I’m not making you guys skip meals. Well, you don’t have to eat these bread if you don’t want to. However, take a guess on what you’ll be having next.”

Especially since you didn’t even have lunch today because of all the fun you had. Fer, Grandpa Gon, and Dora-chan all groaned collectively at my words. If this was a manga, all sorts of onomatopoeic sound characters would have filled the background.

Sui had frozen up with shock, but I have to harden my heart against her. Sorry Sui, but you’re also part of the problem. Children need a firm hand, an indulgent parent raises a delinquent child.

This hurts me more than it hurts you, Sui-tan.

“H-hey, just give me whatever you’re eating, can’t you just do that?”

Fer was staring at my Soybean Stewed with Tomatoes with slightly bloodshot eyes.

“You want this? It’s beans stewed in vegetables, well, some would say that the tomato is a fruit, but it’s all plant-based. Do you really want it?”

“Kuhh…” Fer’s eyes seemed to bulge out a little at that. He hated vegetables but obviously loved my cooking. I could see the dilemma in his eyes…

Kukuku.

“Also, I only made a small amount since I know most of you probably won’t like it. I only have enough to serve about this much with no seconds.”

This made the ones who do not hate vegetables look even more conflicted. It was torturous enough to not have meat, but to not have enough vegetables to eat? That kind of cruelty reached new heights…

By the time I was done with my dinner, the Gluttonous Quartet had finally started munching through their new Bread Diet.

They were probably having a hard time eating those. Sliced bread could be delicious when toasted, spread with butter and jam or made into French Toast, but on its own? Heh.

Everyone was eating their food expressionlessly, there was not a single ‘delicious!’ in the air.

“Hey, can we get a drink?”

“Yeah, yeah!”

“Sure,” I said with a smile and served them large bowls of H2O. These poor things’ mouths must be so dry from eating dry boring bread. So sad.

Everyone stared at the bowls of water with expressions that were close to despair. Were they expecting me to serve them sweet fizzy drinks like cola or cider?

Hah!

This is a punishment, so why would I give you something nice?

Sui’s tearful ‘Aruji~~’ was devastating, but I managed to endure it.

A parent has to be strong and stay stern when necessary!

Fuhahahahahaha~~!! Do you understand what suffering is now?!

Huh?!

 

Gumihou: I think Mukouda went a little nuts here.

Eguchi Ren: It’s a bit short, but the author is satisfied to write the scene he wanted

[1] Create a bit of atmosphere first

[2] It actually looks delicious

https://www.sbfoods.co.jp/recipe/detail/03428.html

 

 

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This Post Has 18 Comments

  1. Dragul17

    @chibibar the reason goblins and such don’t go extinct is because they breed with human women and they are nomadic. Whenever their bases get wiped usually there’s a couple that escape and reassemble stealing women and building up again before getting wiped again. They don’t get extinct because they are the cockroaches of the monster world its near impossible to get all of them and if just one slips out their breeding ability is unparalleled

    1. Xiras85

      @Dragul17: Thank you, absolutely right. Apart from that, we know that dungeons cam form everywhere and it was mentioned that sometimes monsters lurk out.
      Also I don’t think that the gods would care for the existence of such monsters, even if they had the power to create them, which I doubt (except Demiurgos, maybe).

    2. chibibar

      I thought the same thing originally, but since it DOES require another species (in this case women) this means that over time (let us assume in the last 40,000 years because we use Gon’s lifespan and Gon’s is 3rd generation Ancient dragon per Dimiurge)
      The human settlement has protection so it is harder to get females to breed, it does limit the growth. Unlike cockroaches, they are allowed to breed themselves (no human required. thank goodness!!)

      BUT! It is a fictional story so we can only conjecture/debate on what it is written. So this is a newer idea vs the old traditional of female orc/goblin (other world/genre)

      That aside, I think the gods might have some dabble in it to keep the cycle if something were to “disappear” 😉

      1. slobber

        Right! You jogged my mind a bit there. In a way, you can say the dungeon is vital to the ecosystem because it basically pumps out monsters that can eventually leave the dungeon. So really, whether something is extinct or not really just depends on whether the gods decide to adjust some dungeon settings or not.

        I think Goblins/traditional fantasy fodder is mass produced in the dungeons so there’ll never be a shortage. We don’t have to follow traditional Goblin Slayer lore where they breed with other species.

        I also agree that Ancient Dragons/Fenrirs will have a very very small population for the sake of ecosystem balance.

  2. slobber

    I think it is good that Mukuoda is putting his foot down on the gluttonous quartet. But I do think he is making a huge deal over a small thing. The disrespect to him is much more serious than the gluttonous quartet deleting Demiurgo’s hidden porn stash.

    Seriously… if the gods were that worried about the extinct dinos they could just remake them… Seems that realization is a little beyond Mukuoda’s brain functions though. And I think Mukuoda is more scared of Wilhelm et al because he can see and touch them ie get yelled at by them. The concept of “gods” is beyond his comprehension. (they could probably wipe his decision making functions and just extract his recipes while mind controlling him to cook whatever they want and supply whatever they want from Net Super if he wasn’t such an entertaining Truman Show to them)

    I mean, I’d lmao too if I saw the poor bloke with his maid fetish mind and wet dreams. In fact, I’d probably design some more cancerous dungeons and whisper some oracles to his familiars telling them of said dungeon locations just to put Mukuoda through more shit lol

    Waiting for Mukuoda to rage when they kill the only 2 living Leviathans in the world or something (seriously, the thing is as large as an island, how many do you think there could be in the world to sustain such a mass?)

    1. chibibar

      The dungeon does respawn over time (Dungeon Behemoth, Leviathan, Black Dragon, Ice Dragon etc), but land creatures, maybe not.

      BUT!!!!!!!!!!!! What you said got me thinking more about how the gods may “spawn more” as needed.

      Think about Orcs and goblins. There are no female of the species (per earlier entries), but they continue to spawn. What if the last orc/goblin died out? does the god/goddess spawn more. What do the gods do each day? (remember the Umushu?)

      Also, think about Fenrir line. I mean, the population has to be pretty small. How will Fer create more of him? Yes, they live a long time, but what about Gon? Where is another dragon to mate with?

      I think you might be on to something on where the gods CAN spawn additional stuff when needed to keep the species going BUT not too much (can you imaging a lot of Fenrir or Ancient Dragon running around?)

  3. RemAishiteru!

    Sui’s cries hurt me…
    MUKOUDA GIVE HIM SOME KARAAGE!

  4. Filip

    Lulz, it’s funny to see the delinquent meat meat meat pet party getting depressed due to not having ultra high quality meals, but Mukoda should punish those higher-ups too. Hopefully at least Fer and Gon will get more proactive in defending Mukoda from old f4rts that want to chew him out, or plain old abuse him.
    Thanks for the chapter! Awesome translation! May God bless you!

  5. Otaku Hikikomori

    LOL, punishment time.
    Thanks for the treat.

  6. Melissa

    Love seeing Mukoda stand up for himself. Hopefully this gets them right wherebit needs to so the lesson sticks. No going on trips without he knowing where they are going. No making species extinct or this is what you will have.

    1. Zhajn

      yea the guy seriously needs a spine. him bending to the adventurer’s guild’s whims is pathetic when he’s literally holding all the power. setting some rules with his familiars is a start I guess.

      1. Gumihou

        Yeah, his spine was even more bendy in the original. As in, he was genuinely ‘gyaaa’ apologetic, but mitigated it to make him go ‘tch’ and ‘forced smile’ instead.

  7. Felipe

    I wish Fer was more conscious about mukodas, he always looks down on the MC and complain that he’s weak and cowardly but also completely forgets what happens when he angers mukoda, also last time mukoda punished them wasn’t Sui completely fine with eating vegetables only?

    1. slobber

      Yeah that is weird. I don’t remember Sui being so picky about Meat vs Vegetables. Same with Dora. Fer/Gon were the meat exclusives so this is kind of inconsistent unless Eguchi is trying to imply that the 2 little ones have been converted to full on carnivores as well.

      I think you should keep in mind Fer has always lived under the doctrine of survival of the fittest. He is no philosopher or scholar but he’s seen a lot and strength rules that world. Mukuoda is only the strongest because he has the 4 strong familiars.

      Also, it seems everyone forgets Fer LOVED the Spaghetti Mukuoda made when it was just the 2 of them

  8. TenchiUsui

    Its depressing that things like bread tortillas and rice are great but when its the only thing…🥲😔

    1. Felipe

      I don’t know what you talking about, there are time when I go on diet and I only eat rice with mayo and beans for lunch and dinner (and bread with butter and one cup of milk for breakfast) and I’m satisfied with that

      1. Zhajn

        … I don’t know whether to be amazed or to pity you. I can’t imagine a diet of just that. like I wouldn’t need anything extravagant but rice/mayo/beans for lunch and dinner? I mean eggs and spam isn’t expensive.

        1. Felipe

          Eggs aren’t expensive and are quite healthy but I don’t like them, I’m a picky later, I once even complained to my doctor “why almost everything that is good for you tastes awful?”

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