Chapter 171: Ogres & Alcohol
Link: https://ncode.syosetu.com/n7583de/
Author: Hirukuma
Translated by Zzonkedd
Edited by Gumihou
“Listen up, the pronunciation is gua’u. That means ‘yes’. Then there’s, guo’i, which means ‘no’. Give it a try.”
“Gua’u, guo’i.”
“The inflexion should rise a bit at the end. Please note that the superior beings of the demon clan speak the common tongue, but lesser demons can only converse in the demon language, and they can only respond to simple prompts. Make sure to keep that in mind.”
Professor Hyurumi’s crash course in The Finer Points of Ogre Language Pronunciation was taking place.
The party had settled on a Rock Ogre as the target disguise. As the name suggested, it was an ogre made of rock with a large hump on its back, giving it a stoop-over posture much like a hunchback. It stood taller than two meters and was a size or two larger than regular humans.
Hevoy’s powers over illusions could disguise a person’s appearance to some degree, but making a larger person appear smaller was difficult. Hence why the group settled on Rock Ogre, which was a little larger than regular humans, as the best choice.
Once again, we are relying on Hyurumi’s frankly [1] astonishingly extensive knowledge of… well, just about anything and everything. The shocking extent of her knowledge was shown when she started pointing out minute differences in Hevoy’s illusion, it was further revealed in her impressive knowledge of the ogre language.
Apparently, she had studied monster languages and even the languages of different races to some extent. She could give greetings and hold simple exchanges in over a hundred different languages. I am once again awed by her genius.
After the drinks have been prepared and Hevoy properly coached in Ogre language, our party is ready. I must say, the Rock Ogre illusion was absolutely perfect from every angle.
Once we reached the entrance to the Desert Pillar, we handed Hevoy the 30 bottles of liquor which had been lashed together with a rope. Aside from his ability with illusion, Hevoy’s <Super Strength> Gift also came in handy at times like this.
Just then, Kikoyu yawned. [2]
“Oh… Excuse me,” [2] she scratched the back of her head embarrassedly.
It was almost daybreak, so it was only natural for people who had been pulling an all-nighter to feel sleepy. Just hang in a little longer.
In an effort to keep herself awake, she squinted her eyes and stared into the desert. Should I start serving some caffeinated drinks?
“Right, I shall go now.”
“If you think the situation is too dangerous, come back immediately.”
“Take care.”
“Bufoo.”
“Kuwaaack.”
Kikoyu and the others were worried.
This was an extremely risky act. Therefore, we set several precautions in place. One of them was me. [2] That’s right, Hevoy had hidden me under the illusion of a huge, humpback-like rock.
Since it would be difficult for me to hide myself in my normal size, I had transformed into the <Mini Vending Machine> that was specifically designed for children so that no weird bits stick out.
Hevoy gently pushed the door open and we peered inside. The Two-Headed Ogre had its back turned to us and was still eating. However, he had slowed down a lot, so I guess he must be nearing his limit.
Hevoy had his arms full of alcohol, but the Two-Headed Ogre had not seen us yet. From what we heard from Hyurumi [1], Rock Ogres could only have two words in their vocabulary ‘guo’u’ and ‘guo’i’. Here’s to hoping that Hevoy could properly communicate with it.
“What this? Rock Ogre here?”
“It followed us?”
“Gua’u, gua’u” said Hevoy as he nodded exaggeratedly before [3] setting down his burden and taking one of the plastic bottles out. He opened it and set the bottle near the Two-Headed Ogre.
“This is, water?”
“No, this smell… alcohol!”
“Gua’u, gua’u.”
Well, well, at least the part about them loving alcohol appears to be true. The moment it realised the bottle contained alcohol, the colour of their eyes changed.
“Thirsty, thirsty!”
“Humans hide alcohol?”
“Gua’u, gua’u.”
[2] For some reason, the Two-Headed Ogre’s phrases appeared much smoother and more detailed compared to before. Were they just too hungry and angry earlier? Or did having food in its stomach improve its cognitive ability?
Still, it helps the conversation flow. [2] All Hevoy had to do was go gua’u or gua’i to whatever they were saying.
Even so, for all that they could speak in the common tongue, the Two-Headed Ogre doesn’t seem the brightest. According to Hyurumi [1], it doesn’t have the ability to engage in critical thinking and mostly acted on instinct. This made it easy for us to trick it.
“Drink?”
“Drink!”
The Two-Headed Ogre reached for the bottle, and chugged. [2] Well, the male head chugged while the female head looked on belligerently.
“Phwaaaah!”
“Give here.”
[2] As expected, the female was angry now. However, when the bottle was passed to the female, she drank deeply and her face became relaxed. Nice, it looks like our plan is working.
“Delish! Drink! Drink!”
“Drink up! Drink up!”
[2] Hevoy had left the rest of the alcohol by the Ogre’s feet and retreated from their sight. After the first bottle was empty, they reached for the second one and, with a mighty [3] squeeze, crushed the bottle, causing the cap to shoot out and alcohol to gush into their mouths.
[3] I think they just swallowed the cap…
[3] Ah, they now have a bottle in each hand and were crushing them simultaneously, feeding both heads at the same time.
By the 10th bottle, which was chugged like water, the blue face was slowly picking up a tinge of red while the red face showed no signs of being drunk.
“Hm? This Rock Ogre understand us?”
“Who care? Drink good.”
“That’s right, gahahaha!”
For a moment, my blood (or something inside of me) froze at the question. That’s right, how could the so-called ‘Rock Ogre’, who supposedly only knows the Ogre Language, understand the Two-Headed Ogre when it spoke in the common language enough to answer it correctly?
Moreover, if it had spoken to Hevoy in the Ogre tongue… that was a completely different kettle of issues too.
Luckily for us, the Two-Headed Demon did not pick up on any of these inconsistencies… otherwise, we would have been screwed.
The 20th bottle was gone now, but it looked like they could still drink. Laughter had been echoing on this bloodstained floor for a while now as the Two-Headed Ogre was at least tipsy from the drink.
“Hey, hey, Stone Ogre… how it know common language?”
“Who cares? Thinking make drink taste bad!”
“Das right! Guhahaha!”
“Drink, drink! Gahahaha!”
Oh, looks like the female was a bit of the cheerful type? Thanks to her, whatever serious thoughts were happening inside the male head quickly disappeared. If it had just been the male, we may be trouble by now.
“Sleepy… want to drink…”
“Sleepy… good drink…”
There were only two bottles left. They had slowed down by a lot and the two heads were actually lolling about on the broad shoulders. The final two bottles contained some of the highest alcohol content in my repertoire. The perfect drink to cap the day.
When the final bottle was in its hand, the Two-Headed Ogre suddenly toppled to its back. All four eyes closed and it began to snore. It looked gone.
Hevoy cautiously approached the sleeping Ogre and poked it with the tip of his finger. There was no reaction. Per Hyurumi’s explanation, drunk ogres don’t wake up easily.
Apparently, getting ogres drunk before running away was the standard practice for most merchants in this world.
Still in his Rock Ogre disguise, Hevoy beckoned the people peeping at the entrance and the rest of our party tiptoed in.
After ascertaining that the Ogre was completely out, Hyurumi pulled out something that looked like a cross between a gun and a syringe. She pointed it at the Two-Headed Ogre.
“This is a modified version of a medical tool called a syringe. I made this, thinking that we could use it to directly inject poison into the Elderwood. Never thought that it would come in handy here. By the way, I’ve filled it with alcohol.”
[2] So that’s why she wanted a bottle of alcohol for herself. Still, to directly inject alcohol into the bloodstream? Would it cause alcohol poisoning? I think there was a case where a child died due to a mix-up of the alcohol drips and saline solution.
It must be dangerous to have alcohol directly injected into the body.
“I’d use a poison, but we don’t know if the Ogre is somehow resistant to it. If the poison is too weak and ended up helping the Ogre to flush the alcohol from its system… well, that would be problematic, to say the least. Better to just use what works.”
[2] I supposed it wouldn’t be a big deal even if we did accidentally cause alcohol poisoning.
While I was still thinking, Hyurumi had found a suitable area on the Ogre’s body that was vulnerable enough for the syringe to penetrate. Frankly, it was scary how accurately familiar she was with an Ogre’s anatomy as she efficiently identified the exact spot and smoothly injected the contents in one go.
“As I thought, the <Hardening> skill has to be consciously triggered. Look how smoothly the needle pierced through its skin. Now that I have injected it, it won’t wake up easily no matter how much noise we make.”
Still, everyone approached the monster with caution. It continued to snore.
“Um, so, what do we do now? I feel bad attacking it while it’s sleeping,” said Ramis.
“It may be difficult, but there is no need to pity the enemy in a fight to the death. Isn’t that right, Master Hakkon?”
“Ye-es”
If we cannot win through conventional means, we have no choice but to win through underhanded tactics. We are in a battle for our lives, so please don’t take it personally.
“I see, right. I’ll take on the female head. Can I leave the male face to you, Mishael?”
“Understood, Miss Ramis.”
There were no objections from anyone else as we all backed away.
Ah, wait. I should confirm with Ramis.
“Ra-mis”
“What is it, Hakkon?”
“Str-ike”
“Wi-th”
Ramis tilted her head to the side. “Um, do you want us to beat this thing together?”
“Ye-es”
If I get to defeat that thing with Ramis, I could accumulate more points. It had been difficult for me to gain points recently, not to mention, I had lost a huge amount to this Two-Headed Ogre earlier. So, I would like to earn more points while I can.
“Hakkon would get ‘Hakkon Points’ when you defeat enemies, right? Is that the plan?”
Looks like Hyurumi still remember this little detail that they had acquired through Kikoyu. It was something I had told Ramis and Hyurumi before.
“Oh! That’s right! Yes, so, I just need to defeat it with Hakkon, right?”
“Ye-es, ye-es”
“Fa-ce”
“Cra-sh”
I was a little reluctant to ask Ramis to use me like a blunt-force weapon. However, I hope that she will indulge me for the sake of points.
Personally, as a vending machine maniac, I feel bad about using a vending machine as a weapon. However, needs must. And I really need to become stronger. An understanding Ramis reluctantly lifted me overhead.
“Miss Ramis, let us coordinate our attack. There is a chance they could wake up due to the pain,” said Mishael reasonably.
“Alright, got it. Ready, steady, go!”
I heard something crunched under me. It was the blow that put an end to our battle against the Two-Headed Ogre.
[Gumihou: Hyurumi doesn’t have a golden finger, she IS the golden finger. Also, the Two-Headed Ogre’s dialogues are alternately too short or too convulated. Tried to keep it consistent]
[1] Hyurumi’s knowledge is too OP actually, I’m glad that the author made her physically weak. Otherwise, she’s just another Mary Sue thing.
[2] Adjust details
[3] Add details
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