Rent-a-Company
This is ‘What if’ fic. It’s mostly a thought exercise, so even Gumi is not sure where it will go.
Dear valued customer,
Per our last conversation, I am happy to inform Mukouda-san that I have in my hand a product of great interest that fits your requirement. Should you still require the services of a good-looking slave, do come over and peruse our goods.
Radoslav
Wh-what is this letter?!!
What did he mean by a product of interest?!
Could it be…
Thunk thunk thunk-
Just what kind of pervert does he think I am?!!
“Master, how hard do you have to beat that meat? It looks completely flat now,” said Grandpa Gon.
“Kugghh– Who’s beating meat? Huh!? What are you trying to say?!!!”
Thunk thunk thunk-
““Master, you’re still beating the meat,”” said Dora-chan.
Thunk thunk th-
I looked down at the completely flattened piece of beef. How did…
“Ahem, I’m thinking of making Chicken Fried Steak, it’s a special delicacy from a great country called America…”
“Steak?” Fer immediately perked up.
“Fried?” Grandpa Gon turned inquisitive eyes at me.
“”Chicken? Hey, that’s what you usually call bird meat, right? Are we having bird meat?”” Dora-chan crowed.
“”Merica~? Yummy~?””
“It’s…” To be honest, I had only ever seen this on television before. I think it was a documentary about Texan steaks. I had the TV on as background noise at that time and had not been paying attention since I already knew how to cook steaks. I only looked at the screen when one of the cooks in the kitchen suddenly started putting pieces of steak through these huge metal rollers and hunted up the recipe for this mysterious method.
It turned out that this recipe was made for extra tough and chewy steak pieces.
Since I didn’t have metal rollers, I would flatten down the meat with a hammer. After flattening the meat, it should be about twice as wide as it was, but only about 1cm thick. Next, dredge the meat through beaten eggs and then coat the thin flap of meat in seasoned flour. Next, fry the ‘steak’ in some rendered beef fat.
Since the meat had already been flattened, all I had to do was make sure the batter was properly crisped up. Oh, and make sure to take the pan off the fire for a little bit to let the meat rest and the juices run out a little before crisping it the second time and-
“Oi, can’t we eat yet?”
“Almost,” I said as I shook the steaks now sizzling in several pans. Woah, these look great.
“… Master, why is the meat so thin?”
“”Yeah, it’s not like we don’t have lots of meat right?””
“”Mm~~ Yummy~~””
“Tch, maybe we should go hunting again- hm?”
Naturally, the Gluttonous Quartet soon put their mouths to better use by crunching through the Chicken Fried Steak.
I let them have the first batch of steak without sauce before tossing a bunch of finely sliced large onions into one of the pans and letting it sweat. Thanks to my Solitary Chef title, I could easily take charge of about 8 working stoves…
Once the onions had softened and turned brown, I poured in some cream and adjusted the flavour with some salt and pepper and tada!
“Instant cream sauce!”
“Oi, what’s that?”
“This sauce will go on your next set of Chicken Fried Steak,” I said as I covered the fried meats with a generous helping of white sauce.
“Umumu, this is good.”
“Oh my, this certainly changes the texture, giving the meat a deeper taste…”
“”I could drink this sauce all day~!!””
“”Aruji~ aruji~ Sui wants… hmm, sticky white thing~!!””
“Sticky white… er, why would you want that?”
“”Yummy~ yummy white stuff~~””
“Ah, oh! You want cheese? Uh, wow, that’s actually a great idea. Haha. I’ll put cheese on your next seconds, okay?” I stammered as sweat slid down my back.
“”Yay~!””
Honestly, just what is wrong with me?
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I was unable to sleep that night. Words from the letter floated around in my head as I tossed and turned.
Ugh, should I go?
But, I still remember Radoslav-san’s judgy face and could not bring myself to go and, and, ughhh–!!
“”Master, is that yummy~?””
Sui’s sleepy voice nudged at me.
I removed the blanket from of my mouth and laughed awkwardly, “No, no, I was just, uh, I was just thinking about something. And, um, doing this helps me to think. Hahaha…”
“Mu, I can’t sleep either. Let’s go hunting instead.”
“Wait, how did the talk turn into hunting? Also, I was not speaking to you, Fer!”
“You brought up a pertinent suggestion, Fenrir,” Grandpa Gon rumbled. “Although today’s dinner was good, the meat was too thin. If Master is truly running out of meat, it is only right for us to go and hunt more.”
““Eh? Do you think so? I kind of like it though. It’s a nice change,”” said Dora-chan through a yawn.
“No!” I hissed. “We are not hunting tomorrow. I have an appointment. That is, I have a thing. To do. That’s not hunting. Anyway, I’m busy, so we won’t be going hunting!”
After that, I pulled the blanket over my head and closed my eyes determinedly. Let’s just go to sleep. I’ll decide tomorrow whether we need more, uh, staff.
Shit, why am I thinking about staffs now?
Chicken Fried Steak – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1n7NWBmxbA
Gumihou: I’d love to try this at least once… I should just make it.
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I don’t think Mukouda is brave enough to dare go for something like that. Otherwise he would have already visited a certain establishment in a certain district.
I think he may entertain the thought but he isn’t desperate enough to put his fantasies into reality unlike a certain community of more desperate that enjoys the genre a little too much. He would instead immediately wipe the thought and tuck it away just as you described here.
Yup, that’s why nothing happened in the end, haha
Yup, it’s… pretty much the normal mentality in Japan…