Festivities: 4th of July
Boom! Poof! Fweeeeet!!
Yeahhhh~~!!
For some reason, when I turned on [Net Super] today, the screen exploded into a shower of fireworks and confetti… before reforming into its usual rectangle blue screen with a blare of horns and drums.
“… What the heck was that?” I muttered as I rubbed the stars and stripes out of my eyes. Then, I had to rub them again because I was still… seeing stars?
Oh, there were suddenly a lot of stars on the [Net Super] screen. There were also a lot of red and white accents here and there…
Wait, this looks kind of familiar, however, for the life of me, I could not place it…
“A special limited edition 4th of July special, okay…” I muttered to myself as I read the banner that suddenly bloomed across the screen. A line of red and white striped ribbon followed the announcement. “What’s so special about the 4th of July? The primary products for sale are fireworks and… colourful swimming trunks? Why is [Net Super] promoting fireworks and swimming trunks? Oh, is it because it’s summer now? Woah, what the heck is this Super Yankee Fire of Independence?”
““Aruji~ what is that~?””
“Um, fireworks. Do you know remember those sparklers we played by the beach, Sui?”
“”Fire~! Pretty fire~!!”” Sui said as she bounced about happily.
“Yeah, those were pretty great… it’s been a long time since I’d seen real fireworks though…”
““Sui wants to see!””
“Ou! Let’s get some!” I clicked on the tab for Super Yankee Fire of Independence and found that it was actually a bundle sale for a set of fireworks. Anyway, let’s get them.
“Oi, is that food?” Fer asked from the side.
“No, it’s something fun.”
“Food is fun, get food,” said the Fenrir.
“Sure, sure,” I said as I randomly tapped through a few links and found that there was actually a section for ‘4th of July Food!’
“Woah, it’s all Hotdogs, Hamburgers, Pork Ribs and S’mores? What’s a S’more?” I clicked on the S’more and read the description.
[S’more] [A sandwich of two crackers filled with toasted marshmallows and a piece of chocolate]
“”I wanna eat that!!””
“”Sui too~! Sui too~!””
“Hmm, it’s a dessert?”
“Master, could you go back to the main page? I believe there’s a crucial element to this 4th of July cuisine that needs more studying…”
“Hold on,” I said as I tapped on the S’more. “I think I can make this, in fact… let’s have a barbecue by the beach! We can grill marshmallows and have them fresh on crackers. It’s been a long time since I had a toasted marshmallow. Let’s get some cheese too and toast.”
“Nu, isn’t barbecue all about meat? All kinds of meat? And meat!?”
“We’ll have meat too, of course,” I sighed.
“Beer! Beer too!” Grandpa Gon roared. “That’s a crucial part of 4th of July!!”
“Eh?”
“Here! Here!” Grandpa Gon was shaking me by the shoulder and pointing at a section of the [Net Super]. “This one here! Press here!”
It took a while for my vision to steady. It was quite scary to be shaken like this by a dragon of all things. Also, his ridiculous long beard is getting in my face…
“Oi, stop shaking me!” I grabbed the long swaying beard and jerked that in revenge. Hah! How do you like that!?
“Master! The beer!”
A little cross now, I shouted, “Ugh, I can’t see a thing! Help!”
Suddenly, I was free. I looked around and… sure enough, Fer had tackled Grandpa Gon to the Ground and a Gigantic Sui had absorbed him partially into her body.
“M-master-!”
“Fine, you want beer, I will get you some beer. However, you are to stay away from me while I’m shopping,” I snapped. It was really out of character for me to be so confrontational, but needs must.
I have to be firm with these creatures or be reduced to become their slave. I must establish dominance! Well, maybe not dominance exactly, but, boundary! That’s right I should set down boundaries and maintain my liberty!
“”Hey, Sui, don’t you think Master is a bit… odd today?””
“”Aruji is Aruji~~””
“”Sure, sure, whatever you say…””
“Umu, I agree with Dora,” Fer murmured. “He seems… oddly feisty today.”
“Mwahaha! Let’s get this! And this one! And this too! A beach barbecue should definitely have this!”
“Oi, what are you buying? Those aren’t even food!”
Fer sounded outraged.
“4th of July could only be properly celebrated with these!”
“”He’s gone nuts,””
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“Are you back to your senses now?”
From my position on the floor, I could see up Fer’s nostrils. It was not a pretty sight. Also, the Fenrir smells pretty funky, I should give him a bath-
“Oi, how long are you going to lie down there?”
“I’m back,” I said. “What happened?”
“”I dunno, you just start buying up stuff like crazy and they are all kind of useless…””
I am a little afraid to assess the damage but eventually pushed myself up by the elbows for a proper look.
“…wait, are these… American flags? And… what’s that on your head, Fer?”
“You put these on me, I quite like it,” Fer’s ears flicked through the leg holes of a pair of American flag boxers.
“… …” should I laugh? He looked so smug…
“”Hey! Look at meee!!!””
Dora-chan zoomed past us, an American flag fluttering behind him like a cape; Grandpa Gon was already chugging barrels of beer and Sui… a bunch of little Suis streaked past me trailing sparklers in their wake.
Suddenly, an epiphany struck me.
“Oh, that’s right. I must be dreaming. This is a nightmare. Haha, I should try and wake up soon.”
“Oi, stop that. Time to make food! Didn’t you say you’re going to grill some of those Marshy Minnows? I want some!”
This, I thought as Dora-chan passed by us with another ‘wheeeee’, is going to be another looong day…
[Gumihou: Haha, Mukouda having a minor ‘Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death moment.]
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