Vending Machine - 184 - Sweltering Heat

Chapter 184: Sweltering Heat

Link: https://ncode.syosetu.com/n7583de/

Author: Hirukuma

Translated by Zzonkedd

Edited by Gumihou

Gumihou: Mmm… it’s difficult to balance melodrama without it tilting over to cringe. Will do my best.

[1] “More! More! Gimme! Think my body can’t stand this heat? Haaaah??!”

Well, it looked like the Director of Scorching Sand had come to this floor as a in return for our assistance back on his floor. He’s also incredibly loud.

Apparently, he’s the type who gets hyped up by a hot environment. Moreover, since he’s the type who prefers to stand at the frontline over battling paperwork, he became even more excited.

“He’s really energetic, isn’t he?” said Ramis.

“Rather than ‘energetic’, I think the word ‘fired-up’ suits him more,” Hyurumi muttered.

Still, I had to wonder why Director Bear sent this fellow to us. I thought he would send the old man to us.

“Before you guys ask, I specially requested for the old man to help us out, but he had gone off to the Wailing Dead Floor with the Big Eaters party at Director Bear’s request. After I updated our good director about the Snow Spirit, he recommended [2] this guy.”

So, I guess this means that ‘this guy’ has some ways of countering cold attacks. He sure doesn’t look like the magic-using type. From the look of him, he looked like the type that preferred to solve problems with his fists.

“Since Director Bear recommended him, I guess he must be competent. The only question is, how I’m supposed to survive his burning enthusiasm?”

“Considering how Pitee lacks any kind of enthusiasm, maybe some of Scorching Sand Director’s energy would rub off on her,” said Ramis optimistically.

Wow, I never considered that before. Who knows, this could be a good thing after all.

“Well, let’s wait for everyone to come back,” said Hyurumi non-committally.

She looked so miserable that both Ramis and I agreed to wait with her. By the way, screams of ‘The sea is amaaazing!’ and ‘Woaaah!’, accompanied by splashes of water kept drifting towards us. Let’s just ignore that.

About an hour later, everyone eventually made it back. Ramis took up the job of explaining what happened. As everyone listened, the Director returned from the sea with a smile so bright that it rivalled the brilliant sun on this floor’s shockingly clear sky.

“Nothing beats moving one’s body to its fullest! Swimming in the sea is the best kind of exercise!”

If this was a TV show, I would have sat with the remote in my hand, ready to turn down the volume each time he talks.

“Hiii—”

As expected, Pitee cringed at the sight of the Director. She acted like a vampire threatened by a beam of sunlight. Ah, these two certainly embody the yin and yang existence.

“You there! Have you been eating properly? Cheer up!”

“Eeek… H-help…”

As the oblivious Scorching Desert Director stepped closer, Pitee retreated further into her gigantic shell-shields.

“Oi, what’s this clam-like shield? How interesting!”

The Director poked interestedly at the shields. It was clear that these two probably won’t get along at all.

“Excuse me, Director. Please give her a little space. She’s a bit shy.”

“Ou, is that so! Sorry about that! Hahaha!” the Director was laughing with his hands on his hips, not even slightly sorry at all.

His presence alone had lifted the atmosphere around us to beyond cheerful – it had gone on to burning hot, almost scorching even.

“Moving on, I believe we should head towards the island where Pitee had been staying. She must have some personal belongings she would like to retrieve. Also, it’s best to be cautious since the Leader’s party may still be there.” [1] Hyurumi said, obviously wanting us to move away from the gag scene.

“What should we do if we happen to encounter Leader?”

For myself, I believe the best thing to do would be to capture Leader Keryoil’s party if they can’t be persuaded to cooperate, but it’s best to talk it out now and get the opinions of Leader’s former group members.

“I shall do my best to reason with them. However, if they remain stubborn and refuse to change their mind… It is best to overpower them with force and lock them up in a cell on Clearflow Lake,” said Hevoy. [3]

“What he said-su.” [3]

“Leader and Vice-Leader… a couple… their sons… I too, will… capture the couple…”

Well, it sounds kind of ominous, but at the very least, it looked like Pitee understood Whimsical Fool’s situation since they must have explained part of it to her. In the end, she resisted them not out of any altruistic reason but because she is resistant to outside forces trying to make her do things.

Still, from what we had seen of her interaction with her teammates and Leader Keryoil’s attitude, he was used to manipulating people through sophistry and persuasion. So, there was a possibility he would still be around just to try and persuade Pitee to join his cause.

“If everyone is in agreement, let us look for the Commander next. Rocky Dog Mountain is vast, so let’s head there first.”

Everyone looked in the direction Hevoy pointed. It was an island with a mountain in the shape of a sitting dog. Considering how clearly we could see it, that thing must either be really close to us or shockingly huge.

“I heard that’s where the floor boss is located,” [2] said Hyurumi with narrowed eyes. “Surrounded by a swarm of monsters, no less.”

“That is why I believe there’s a high possibility that a commander would be hidden there. However, I believed it’s best for us to avoid a confrontation with the floor boss. This party isn’t cut out to win against that thing,” said Director of Scorching Sands gravely.

I had half expected the Director to shout something along the lines of ‘Ou! Let’s fight it!’ or something, but seeing how solemn he was being, I couldn’t help but be nervous as well.

There was a good reason for his caution. Incredibly, that colossal Rocky Dog Mountain was actually the guardian of this level. It had never been defeated after it had first been taken down over a decade ago. Moreover, since it was just a harmless rock formation unless someone attacked it, everyone just avoided it all this time.

While we can’t get a good feel of its true size at this distance, there was no doubt that it was gigantic. Battling it would be like trying to take down a whole mountain.

Just how did they manage to defeat it that first time? I heard that no one outside the original party knew the details.

“Our primary objective is to resolve the dungeon’s anomalies. We are here to gather information about the Ruler of the Netherworld, so let’s steer clear of any unnecessary conflicts,” said Hevoy decisively.

Our Hevoy has the makings of an excellent leader. Now, if only he could rid himself of his footwear fetish… come to think of it, just who is the leader of our party? I think everyone is more or less equal with Hevoy or Hyurumi giving the party direction now and then, but they don’t lead the team.

Mishael might be the most suitable candidate in terms of fame and skill, but with his social awkwardness, being a leader would only felt like a cruel and unusual punishment.

Ramis serves as the team’s mood maker and… I now understand how adeptly Leader Keryoil managed such a diverse group of personalities.

“First, we should secure a boat. How about we speak with the Director of Rocky Dog Mountain floor?”

Since we can’t all float on a shield like Pitee, we would need a ship to move from island to island. I have taken ferries to remote places just to check out some rather obscure and unique vending machines. Let me tell you, these vending machines offer more than just drinks, bread, snacks and ice-creams. They have a range of frozen food and there were even some that offered freshly made pasta dishes.

By the way, the frozen food sold in that one particular vending machine can be brought straight home or reheated by a microwave provided by the company. As for the taste… let’s say it was kind of a hit-and-miss thing.

Speaking of which, I can’t contribute much when it comes to boats. I have never encountered any vending machines that sold boats before. Therefore, I could only stand quietly on the side as Hyurumi, Hevoy and the Director went off to secure a ship.

As for the rest of us, myself, Ramis, Mishael Shui and Pitee, we decided to go fishing.

“Fishing… is really calming…”

Rather than calming, it was like her entire presence was erased. Even the fishes in the sea no longer sensed her presence and were easily caught. I guess she must have some pretty good fishing skills after staying so long on this floor.

“Fi-shi-ng”

“Go-od”

[3] I said when Mishael reeled in another fish.

“I am honoured by Master Hakkon’s praise. I drop the line where I feel a fish’s presence.”

What a way to use one’s abilities. If he could know where the fish are, it would be easy to catch them.

“I’m gonna land a big one! Come and let me eat you-su!”

I believe the fish swam away from Shui’s burning intent. If you’re that impatient, why not just shoot an arrow right into the water and catch them that way?

“Hm? I haven’t gotten anything after that monster. I did everything the same, bait and all. What do you think, Hakkon?”

“Too bad”

It was possible that she got lucky last time. Her restlessness was probably scaring off the regular fish. Instead of focusing on her fishing, Ramis kept on chatting with me and swinging her legs as she sat at the dock; it would be quite surprising if she did get a bite.

I controlled my own fishing line with <Telekineses>, but since I couldn’t really ‘feel’ the tug, the only way I could check was by keeping an eye on the floater and the line. Thanks to my diligence, I managed to reel in all of my catches.

In the end, Shui and Ramis didn’t manage to catch a single fish between them. Still, the rest of us managed to get quite a bountiful harvest, enough for a decent dinner.

It was rather nice to experience a bit of a slice-of-life moment like this. Everyone needs a break, after all.

Speaking of which, I will take one secret to the grave. One of the fish I caught contained some trace amount of poison. At the end of the day, aside from myself and the Sorching Sand Director, everyone else ended up with stomachaches. Thus, effectively wasting half a day of time.

So there you have it—our little secret.

[Gumihou: Stuffed a lot of ‘fiery’ puns in.]

[1] It’s a little difficult to pin down the Director of Scorching Sands’ style of dialogue. Will do my best

[2] Hyurumi-like dialogue

[3] Hevoy-like dialogue, Shui-like dialogue… anyway, made sure all the dialogues correspond with their characters.

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