Chapter 202: Side Story – Let’s Protect the Door
Link: https://ncode.syosetu.com/n7583de/
Author: Hirukuma
Translated by Zzonkedd
Edited by Gumihou
The story is written under the theme ‘Inanimated Objects You Want to Anthropomorphized’ in commemoration of the book’s publication.
This is a separate short story that is completed in one episode. So, please enjoy it as a treat.
Gumihou: Took some small liberties to make it more readable and dramatic.
Morning, Honey~ Today is another beautiful day~
The sun is shining and from here, the voices of cheerful youths could be heard.
Though you and I cannot move from this place, I am happy to have you by my side. Let us be together forever and ever and ever-
“Hey, got any missions for us?”
Scree–
Wait, Honey! Where are you going? Don’t follow that man- Oh, welcome back, Honey. Phew, I got worried thinking that you’re going to cheat on me.
Speaking of which, those rough and wild hunters who kill monsters for a living are too dangerous. Let’s stay away from them.
“Right, get ready everyone. Time to hunt.”
Scree–
Uwaahhh!! Honey, no!! I- I’m being pushed away by this guy! He’s the one forcing us to separate!
I’m back~ See, I came back right away. You and I, are one body, inseparable. One would not exist without the other, that’s how we are.
“Miss Staff Member, this door is really badly fitted. It’s difficult to open.”
Oi, you dirty man! Don’t you dare grab me with those filthy paws and shake me like that!
Isn’t it common sense to wash your hands before touching anything if you’re from the filthy outside?
Ugh, you stink of the sea.
Don’t you dare touch my Honey with that hand!
“Look, this old door just keeps creaking.”
Enough messing about. Do you think you can defy a door without consequences? Huh? Take that! I’m opening all the way now, and slam!!
“The heck, hey, this door just moved on its own!”
“Dear me, that’s impossible. Here, I’ll oil it up a bit. So, please step aside.”
The usual staff member who handled me came over. She was the most sensible, lovely, and charming woman among all the staff in this place.
She had quite the baby face. At first glance, she looked to be about 15 or 16, but she’s actually 28 years old! This otherworld is pretty scary.
“Hm, I wonder what’s wrong. We have been getting more complaints this past month, but there doesn’t seem to be anything really wrong with the door. Maybe the hinges are getting a bit loose.”
If I were a being of flesh and blood, the action of being gently rubbed down with oil might have excited me. However, after losing everything, even sexual arousal was a thing of the past.
“The left door seems fine.”
My beloved Hidako, also known as my beloved Lefty, cuddled up to me from the side. She had always been so obedient, honest and demure.
Even when faced with unpleasant people and ridiculous demands, she had always done her work diligently. I never heard a word of complaint out of her… even so, I can feel deep, passionate feelings welling up inside of her.
“Maybe the hinges became loose due to everyone’s rough treatment. I’ll call a craftsman to take a look soon,” said the baby-faced staff member with a tilt of her head before returning to the room. Today, she would most likely be handling mission requests for hunters to defeat monsters and trading collectables.
As the day goes by, more and more hunters will come and go, and I’ll be swung back and forth, occasionally shaken up by those rude people.
I’m getting tired of this daily routine of being swung back and forth while playing a pretend romance with the left door. She never speaks and never reacts to anything. It’s no fun at all!!
Hahhh…. how did I come to be born as a door of all things in this other world?
I had been doing my best to entertain myself and keep my mind sharp by making jokes and escaping reality. However, it looks like it’s time to collect my senses and rethink my situation again.
First, just what the heck is this ‘other world’? One thing is for sure, this place is kind of similar to the games I used to play during my school days. So, thinking of it as an ‘other world’ should not be wrong.
It had to be an ‘Other World’ because back in Japan, on Earth really, there was no one who could shoot fire or water elements with their hands. Not to mention, there are beast people who share physical traits with cats, dogs and other animals walking around on two legs, talking and wearing armour.
It was already quite the thing to be transmigrated into another world, but to think that I would be transmigrated as the right door of the entrance to a Hunter’s Association, a place where roughnecks came to make money by defeating monsters.
If I had to be a door, can’t I be a door to a communal bathhouse or a woman’s restroom… no, no, that’s kind of perverted. Um, anyway, it would be better to be a door to some other kind of facility.
This place appears to be near the sea. When the door is opened to a certain angle, I can catch sight of something blue and shimmery in the periphery of my vision.
Anyway, the only thing I could really ‘see’ was the Hunter Association’s first-floor hall and the scenery outside the door. Nothing interesting.
The door I transmigrated into is quite an unusual one. It was a short door, only about waist high, with unnecessarily thick panels, similar to the ones seen in old Western movies. I had been wondering about these doors, curious about the purpose of their existence.
It seems kind of pointless to have doors that let in the wind and rain. Not to mention, anyone tall enough to look over the door could see into the room, so it was definitely not there for crime prevention. Although I guess it was probably better than nothing.
Since I could not find the meaning of the door’s existence, I don’t have the motivation to exist as a pointless door. Not to mention, I have recently developed a habit of daydreaming and people-watching.
I think the level of civilisation in this world is probably a few hundred years behind the one I came from. However, in place of technology, it uses magic to overcome certain physical issues, which gives this place a rather inconsistent feeling.
While there are people in outfits that would not look out of place in modern-day Japan, there were others dressed in clothes that were, well, crude.
While there were no electrical appliances around, the people here used mysterious ‘magic tools’ which are just as convenient. I guess it would be a waste of time to think too deeply about these things. In the end, I’m just a door after all.
To be honest, whether I’m in another world or not doesn’t really matter. Here, I’m just a door. The only thing I can do is be opened or closed by others. No matter what, I’m stuck here and can’t go on adventures or do any of those things Isekai characters do.
If I put my mind to it, I could open or close myself, but what good is that?
“Oi, this mission request is bullshit! What the heck?!”
Auggghhh!! That hurt!!
A rough and aggressive hunter suddenly appeared, forcing me open with a kick. This guy was quite a notorious one.
He was easily over two meters tall, with sideburns merging into his chin stubble. His hair was so shaggy and unkempt that he looked like a beastman, but really, he’s just a regular middle-aged human hunter who just likes to make trouble and blame the staff for his own mistakes.
Each time he came, he would kick me open in that dumb, dramatic way. However, today is the day that he will get it. I waited for the right moment and, instead of swinging back in a normal way, I timed my swings and launched a direct attack on his groin.
“Oi, didn’t you hear me? I- auuughhh!!!”
No matter how strong you are, there is no way to train that lump of muscles. Ohoho, look at the way he’s all curled up.
Just as the large man looked up in pain, I swung back and struck his head.
“I- aahhhh!!!”
The blow landed perfectly. He was now holding his head while rolling around in pain.
“What an idiot, he actually hit himself in the face after forcefully pushing the door open.”
“So dumb.”
“He’s beyond foolish.”
The large man writhed in pain, but even so, the jeers must hurt him even more than my hit because he quickly scrambled to his feet and fled.
Looks like I can still do certain things if I try.
I acted out of rage, but knowing that I could do more than be a bit [1] uncooperative made it feel like I had a bit more range to my life… my life as a door.
“I hope the door isn’t broken.”
The baby-faced staff member rushed towards me in a panic to carefully examine every inch of my body. After confirming that nothing was broken, she breathed a sigh of relief and carefully wiped the area where the idiot had left a boot print.
Sorry, Hidako [2], with how quiet and gloomy you are, we cannot be together. So, I shall now spend my life with this baby-faced staff member! In fact, I shall protect her with my life, no matter what troublesome enemy that dared to darken our doorway!
“Hmm, as expected. It’s rather hot here.”
A deep voice came from outside, casting a shadow over my body. Because I was staring at my new love so hard, I did not realise that someone had walked right up to the door.
When I turned my attention to the source of the voice, I found myself looking at a huge bear.
It was bipedal, which was not unusual for bears since they could stand on their hind legs, but this one was wearing a long coat and a hat. It had an intelligent-looking face and, dare I say, fairly attractive too. More of an ‘ikebear’ rather than ‘ikeman [3]’
“The Director of Clearflow Lake! May I know what business you have here?” The young woman rushed over to the bear in a panic.
‘Director’, huh? I guess that means he’s the Director of a Hunter’s Association, just like that little kid?
Since even kids could become directors, I thought the position was mostly a formality or maybe even symbolic, but this bear looks pretty competent.
“I have something to discuss with the Director of Rocky Dog Mountain.”
“The Director isn’t here now, but he should be back by noon.”
That kid director was called Director of Rocky Dog Mountain, which was a strange mouthful the first time I heard it, and this did not improve upon the second hearing. That kid director was so restless that he was hardly at the Hunter’s Association.
[1] He would usually be back around noon when he was hungry and in need of a meal.
He ran out early this morning [1] with a cheerful, ‘I’m gonna patrol the village!’ which sounded good, but I expect he’s probably just gone off to play.
“Then, is it alright if I wait for him?”
“Yes, please come to the waiting area.”
As she led the bear upstairs, she looked like a zookeeper guiding a bear to its cage. The plain-coloured uniform looked like zookeeping work clothes on her.
Not long after that, the kid director came back. As soon as he realised the bear was waiting for him, he tried to run away, but the bear had already circled around and grabbed him, tucking the screaming kid director under one arm as he trudged back upstairs.
I can almost imagine this as a scene where a child had been dragged off by a bear to its den to be eaten. However, since the bear is an intelligent one, the kid’s probably fine.
Still, what’s up with that odd pair? It had not been long since I gained consciousness here, so I don’t really know much about this world or the Hunter’s Association.
In all honesty, knowing more about this world won’t really change anything. It’s more important for me to know about the hunters who crossed this threshold and the nice staff members who work here.
“Welcome, you must be new here. Welcome to the Rocky Dog Mountain floor. Do allow me to confirm your name and occupation.”
The baby-faced staff member spoke politely with a gentle smile on her face.
Ah, what a soothing sight. The one good thing about being a door is that I get to see her almost every day.
So, when it’s her day off, my mood sours, and the act of opening and closing becomes heavier.
On this day, I have decided to take up a duty to observe the staff members rushing about with work since morning.
As a gatekeeper of this place, I take great pride in guarding it. However, there was really nothing much for me to do, especially since only scruffy hunters entered this place, and the worst thing they would do was give the staff some paperwork-related trouble.
Nevermind, watching the world quietly is fine too.
“Phew, it’s been a busy day.”
It was long after closing time now, and Ms Baby Face was carrying a sign to the front of the Hunter Association office. [1] I can’t read the words, but it probably says ‘Close for the Day’ or something similar.
Some dumb hunters had rushed in just before closing time and caused her to stay longer than usual.
After returning to the receiving hall, she disappeared beyond a door in the back. I guess that’s the staff changing room since she always came out of there in her regular clothes.
It gets lonely from night until morning, but the anticipation of the next day makes me happy at the thought of seeing her again.
All jokes aside, my feelings towards her are not romantic. It was closer to admiration or ‘simping’. I don’t think it’s possible for a door and a living being to have a proper romantic relationship. I finally understood why some people like to cheer for an unattainable idol-like person from the shadows.
As I entertained these silly thoughts, the muffled sound of footsteps on sand interrupted my thinking.
Hey, it’s already past closing time, and Ms Baby Face is in the changing room now, so don’t you dare come in!
I braced myself at the stranger getting to the door, but instead of coming over, the thug crouched by the wall next to me. Wait, the guy crouching on the ground… isn’t he that bearded hunter I had smacked in the groin?
What’s he doing over there? I strained my nonexistent ears and heard the following.
“Damn them for making a fool out of me. Ugh, just thinking about it pisses me off.”
He sounded quite drunk. And that barrel he’s hugging to his chest, is it alcohol?
Oi, oi, don’t you dare puke or pee here. Ugh, I can’t stand the smell. Why do I, a door, have a sense of smell anyway? Hunters, especially those crusty old guys, sometimes don’t shower for days, and they stink so bad. The stench of old sweat is unbearable.
I continued to watch the bearded man as he began to splash the contents of the barrel against the barrel.
Wait, that smells like… that’s not alcohol, it’s oil!!
Oi, oi, oi, hold it right there!
As a door, I can’t escape even if the building catches fire. Not to mention, Ms Baby Face is there too!
I have to stop that guy somehow!
Think, think, is there anything a door like me can do?
I can’t speak; I have neither legs nor hands, all I could do was swing open and close… then, that’s what I’ll do!
[1] Creak, thump, creak, thump-!
“What the hell, why is the door so noisy? Is it the wind?”
I thought I could startle him into running away with the [1] thumping and creaking, but all he did was glance once in my direction and go on splashing more oil on the walls.
In fact, he was speeding up!!
“Hehehe, once I light this up, the Hunter Association will go up in flames! You’ll be sorry for making fun of me!”
This is bad. He’s taking out some kind of fire-lighting magic tool. Once he lights that up, it’s all over. Auggghh!! Let’s swing fasterrr!!
The hinges could not take the swinging and cracked. My momentum was so great that I actually flew off the hinges towards the shady man.
Take that! Door Attack! Head Smack!
“Bleh- ugggh-”
The corner of my body struck him right in the centre of his face, shattering his nose. Blood exploded from his nose as he fell backwards. As for me, I landed with a plop on the oil-soaked ground.
Hah! Take that! That’s the power of a doorrr!
If I had hands, I’d give him the middle finger. Then, I noticed it. The magic tool, which was knocked out of his hands, had been tossed up in the air. The magic tool flew end over end, spitting fire as it descended… right into a pool of oil.
The pool of oil, of which I was in the path of!
Aaaahhhhh!!! I’m on fire!!!
It doesn’t hurt and oddly not hot, but everything’s all red! I’m surrounded by flames!!
I could literally see my body turning black, even though I couldn’t feel anything. This is bad. At this rate, I’ll soon disappear.
Am I to be born as a door into this other world only to be burned to ashes like this?
As my body continued to burn and crumble, my consciousness faded.
Ah well, in the end… this is a pretty cool ending… for a door, right…?
I could not even struggle as I stared at a red-tinted world, my mind fading…
“Eh? A- a fire! Fire! Why is this person and the door on fire! Um, water, water!!”
The last voice I heard belonged to her. Well, that’s a pretty satisfying end for my life as a door…
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“That’s a new door, isn’t it?”
“Yup, the old one came off somehow and was set on fire…”
“Yeah, it hit that idiot who was trying to set fire to the Hunter’s Association. Who knows what would have happened if the door hadn’t stopped him?”
“It’s unclear how the door flew all the way there, but maybe someone cast a protection magic on it or something.”
[4] “Oh? Is that so? Anyway, did you hear? Someone found a magic tool on Clearflow Lake Floor that has its own consciousness. It could even speak and everything. Maybe the door is something like that, too.”
“I hope that’s true. Right, Mister Door?”
Right!
I, the former door, am placed in a corner of Ms Baby Face’s workplace at the counter.
That night, I had already given up on life, thinking that I would be ashes soon. However, though I was charred and blackened, not all of me was burned up. There was enough of me to be carved into a baton-like fighting stick. Kind of like a tonfa [5].
It turned out that Ms Baby Face was quite the capable fighter and was an excellent hunter before she started working the counter at the Hunter’s Office. So, even something like a tonfa was quite the weapon in her hands.
I was transmigrated into this world as a door, and have now been reborn as a tonfa.
Now that a new door to life has opened up, I must find a way to live in a way that doesn’t shame my existence as a former door!
[Gumihou: Woah, all kinds of things are gaining sentience in this world]
[1] Added details
[2] By the way, ‘Hidako’ was written in katakana ヒダコ
Left – hidari
Ko – usual suffix attached to girl’s name ‘Nanako, Sadako, Hinako’ etc
Hidako – basically Lefty-chan or Leftirina
[3] ‘Ikemen’ basically means ‘handsome man’, hence the punny ‘ikebear’
[4] Adjusted details
[5] Tonfa – traditionally used in pairs, they are perfect as close-combat weapons
https://blackbeltwiki.com/tonfa
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