Trolled – Lady Chef Chapter 56

WARNING!!

Contains Translator’s prejudiced and biased comments. Do NOT  read if you have any positive feelings for this story.

SPOILER!!

The Translator hates this stories and there will be lots of hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

…just, let me have this, okay? I just can’t-

No-

Just don’t scroll down if you don’t have a sense of humour.

Seriously.

I’m warning you.

Stop now.

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If you’ve reached all the way here, have fun!

 

 

Chapter 56: Deja Vu [Trolled]

 

 

This little girl is really interesting, she seems to know whatever it is I’m thinking of. [Actually, it’s not interesting, it’s scary you know!!]

 

Ren Yue smiled in his heart. [Because he’s too cool to smile on his face.] He sipped the fragrant Pu’er and enjoyed his morning snack. Last night’s suffering during dinner time vanished like a smoke. [Because he has a memory like a sieve.]

 

And that, was how Ren Yue loitered at the dining hall, not long after, the workers of Drunken Immortal [You know, the people who actually had to work for a living?] started to arrived.

 

Manager Li was afraid of a repeat of yesterday’s incident with the very important old man and his entourage and have brought Hong Xiu to assist, just in case.

 

Old Master Qiao, having gone through yesterday’s battle, also brought his son Qiao Zizhang to the restaurant again, worried that Zhao Jing may bring that troublesome guest Sir Song Tao and his group back to the restaurant. [Woah, Sir Song Tao, you’re a popular one.]

 

Thus, it was under such coincidence that master and servant, with their respective offspring met at the entrance of the Drunken Immortal.

 

“Good day, Old Master Qiao! Good day, Young Master Zizhang!” Manager Li greeted them as he pulled Hong Xiu along.

 

“Morning!” Old Master Qiao gave a he-he laugh.

 

Qiao Zizhang gazed at Hong Xiu.

 

A pair of almond eyes met a pair of bring, clear pupils.

 

A pale pink flush misted across Hong Xiu’s cheeks.

 

There, at the entrance of the Drunken Immortal’s Entrance, three words ‘Qiao Zizhang’ engraved itself into a 13 year old maiden’s heart.

 

Though it was their first meeting, it was as though an unseen cord was strung up between the two, locking these pair’s fates tightly together.

 

“Today we should maintain our calm as usual and not be careless.” Old Master Qiao said as he went through the door.

 

“Third Young Master Ren!” Old Man Qiao and Manager Li cried out in unison.

 

“Borrow your space for a bit, will have lunch here if see fit.” Ren Yue said. [In reflexive poetry because he can’t speak normally. It shows that he’s clever, you see?]

 

“Too noisy in the dining hall, Third Young Master Ren. Please make use of our private rooms. Zhu Zi! Where have you died off to! Come out!” In one breath, Old Master Qiao managed to produce a polite deferential sentence and then screeched crudely for Zhu Zi next. […I think this is supposed to be funny, is it funny?]

 

Ren Yue smiled thinly, and did not decline the invitation. He allowed Zhu Zi to escort him to the Listening Bamboo Pavilion – The same one he occupied when he first came to the Drunken Immortal. [He smiled because he’s an ass, he did not declined because he’s an overly privileged ass who actually expects this kind of treatment to be normal. Also, we are reminded that he’s been here before and had interaction with Mary Sue, more foreshadowing.]

 

“Young Master, this is for you to past your time.” After a short while, Zhu Zi fawningly ran in with a copy of the <<Huang Ting Jing>> one of the primary scriptures of Daoism. [You’re a disgrace to the study of Dao, and so’s your hypocritical master.]

 

“Oh?” Ren Yue’s eyes lit up. He’d been wondering how to past the time. Now he not only have food and drink, but also a book to enrich his mind and strengthen his career path. Too bad it’s late morning now. It would be perfect if a moonlit night sky accompanied him right now. [And that, ladies and gentlemen is why we do not associate with over privilege asses. Now he wants the weather outside to be changed. Only overly rich people in need of a high maintenance boy toy should go for this type. Be warn though, resale prices will plunge after use.]

 

“Waiter… this book,” Ren Yue asked. [Clearly he had forgotten about the mind reading little girl. Ladies and gentlemen, a demonstration of a first class mind. Clearly he’s in possession of an Unparallel Mind]

 

“Oh, it’s little sister Rou’er who sent it.” said Zhu Zi.

 

“Miss Wen?” Ren Yue was amazed. [Because he’s dumb.] Knowing his food and drink preference may be explained through coincidence. [Because lot’s of people prefer sticky rice cake without sugar, and that’s why she had to ask the stall owner not to put sugar. Also, you had Pu’er tea back in Chapter 23]

 

But this <<Huang Ting Jing>> was something he had never mentioned to anyone, so how could she know? [Brilliant way to keep a low profile, next time, let’s wear a shirt with Undercover Cop printed on it when you’re on a secret mission. Nice, very subtle.]

 

Ren Yue felt as though ants were marching across his limbs and all over his heart, making him feel itchy and uncomfortable.

 

Morning leisure time soon passed.

 

Lunch time came…

 

“Young Master, would you like to order anything? Or would you prefer to have the Tea Cuisine{1}?” Zhu Zi held out the menu as he respectfully inquired.

 

“No need, I heard that Drunken Immortal is No. 1 in Xiang Yang, how about some of your specialities?” Ren Yue smiled slightly at Zhu Zi. [All to whom I bestow my smile are blessed.]

 

“Very good, specialities. Our most famous dish here at Drunken Immortal is Braised Pork Leg! The leg we use is so fatty that oil just oozes out, young master, if you bite into this leg, that fat! It just explodes into flavour in your mouth. The more you chew, the more fragrant, ah!” Zhu Zi’s eyes brightened, almost starting to drool the more he talked.

 

“Ahem, any other kinds of… specialities?”

 

“Yes! The Drunken Immortal Roast Chicken! Crispy skin and fragrant oils, your mouth will be filled with the aroma of chicken, ah!” Zhu Zi’s own spittle started flying as he expounded the virtues of this dish. He had to swallow a few times before continuing his spiel.

 

The lines between Ren Yue’s skin gained a few friends.

 

“Do you have any lighter dishes?”

 

“Lighter? Of course! Cold Beef Salad{2}! That beef packs a great punch, perfect fat to lean ratio, melts into aromatic beefy fragrance in your mouth! Pairs well with wine! Hei-hei, yong master, that’s the ultimate combo!” Zhu Zi was so happy that his eyes had transformed into downturn sickles, a plate of Cold Beef Salad in front of him and a cup of excellent wine in his hand. […I can see why Ren Yue is considered a top scholar now, everyone else in this god forsaken world is a super grade moron. Nice job levelling up your character’s intelligence by dumbing down the rest.]

 

“Ahem, please call for Miss Wen, ba!” Ren Yue could not bear to listen any more. [Yes, let’s call for the character with common sense, elevated to smart and sassy due to how moronic everyone else is.]

 

“Miss Wen? We don’t have any dishes called Miss Wen, ah?” Zhu Zi was surprised. “Oh, oh, you mean little sister Rou’er, yes, yes, will call her now!” Zhu Zi suddenly saw the light, and rushed to the kitchen. [This guy is a plot device, there was a joke there somewhere, and an attempt at foreshadowing.]

 

“Little sister Rou’er, that handsome young master called for you!” Zhu Zi deliberately raised his voice.

 

“Me?” Wen Rou was startled. [No, really? You did not see this coming? Really? For real?]

 

“Hei-hei, I think only you can handle this young master, hei-hei, that young master seems…towards you…” Zhu Zi continued to hei-hei. [Out of the mouth of babes, also, has he forgotten that this girl deprived him of a way to make money earlier? As in, that morning?]

 

“Stop speaking nonsense, or I’ll tell Manager Li!” Wen Rou was getting irritated, a hand rose to beat him up.

 

Zhu Zi ducked and covered his head, at that time Manager Li’s representative came in.

 

Somehow it was Hong Xiu.

 

“Little sister Rou’er. Is Zhu Zi bullying people again?” Though Hong Xiu was a sheltered girl, she still has the aura of a person in charge.

 

“Elder sister Hong Xiu, come with me to the private dining room, ba. If not elder brother Zhu Zi might speak more nonsense!” Wen Rou made an pitiful face.

 

“Private room? Is this the Third Young Master Ren that dad spoke about?” Hong Xiu have clearly heard about yesterday’s incident with Ren Yue, and looked a little excited.

 

It seems that everyone wants to have a look at this ‘Unparalleled Gentlemen’ Ren Yua.

 

The door of Listening Bamboo Pavilion was slowly pushed open and both girls appeared in front of Ren Yue. [Please tell me Hong Xiu won’t fall for this guy. Also, this is clearly a chance for Ren Yue to compare goods. Mary Sue vs native species.]

 

One was dressed in a light pink dress, and though her accessories, ribbons, pearls and other dangling ornaments could not be compared with the upper middle class family’s, the effect was still quite delicate and pretty.

 

The other was dressed as before, in an old looking, slightly large grey blue outfit. Her hair was done up in a simple braid, a sparkle in her eye, a graceful white face, clean without a speck of dust. [Or sweat, or oil from the kitchen, completely plausible.] Giving a faint image of a water spirit in the middle of a deep valley, resting on a rock by a large pond, nothing glamorous or ambitious. Beautiful, moving, eliciting a subtle fragrance that refreshes and captures the heart.

 

[AAaaaaand Mary Sue wins hands down! BTW, that ‘subtle fragrance’ remark was hilarious, she should smell like whatever’s cooking, ba….he’s probably just hungry, and not a 14 year old pedo who would eventually become an alcoholic with an over active imagination.]

 

Thinking about it, this was probably the first time that Hong Xiu has seen Ren Yue. Though she had mentally prepared herself to admire him, seeing the actual person struck her so much that she just stood there in a daze. [If this scholar thing doesn’t work for him, he can be a high class prostitute.]

 

“Would Young Master Ren like to make an order?” Seeing Hong Xiu still stunned, she spoke first.

 

“Make some of your Drunken Immortal’s specialities, something light please!” Ren Yue didn’t know why, but seeing this Wen Rou always put him in a good mood. [Well, it could be that she can read your mind and anticipate your needs. We always like it when people can cater to our every wants and needs. Sigh, you should probably just give up on being a scholar and try the prostitution route.]

 

“Something light? {3}Stir fried lotus, steamed perch, shredded chicken in soup, dumplings in sweet wine, white fungus with lily soup, bean paste spring rolls, original taste mountain herbs, chestnut cake…don’t know what Young Master Ren would like?” in one breath, Wen Rou had rattled out several dishes, though not a single one of them was made using tea.

 

“I’ll have one of each!” Ren Yue did not bother to ponder more and simply ordered everything.

 

“One of each? Would you be able to finish everything?” Wen Rou had a strange look in her eyes as she stared at the slender and well proportioned Ren Yue.

 

“He-he, just do as instructed!” Ren Yue did not bother to argue any more and just sat down with his <<Huang Ting Jing>>.

 

Under the bright light, the young man in white appeared as beautiful and peaceful as a cloud in the sky. He sat quietly at the window, as though the hustle and bustle of the world had nothing to do with him. [I stand corrected, he could be a piece of ornamental furniture instead of a prostitute. Prostitution requires actual skills.]

 

Through the open window, a faint breeze slipped in, lifting and caressing Ren Yue’s long dark hair. The sight just stirred the hearts of people who caught a sight of him. [This is a man with a charmed life. If I’m lucky, he’ll be pressed down by some hardship sooner or later.]

 

“Very well young master, we will see you later.” Wen Rou pulled on Hong Xiu who was still in a daze, turned and left.

 

 

 

 

 

{1} Tea Cuisine – Some tea based dishes that Unparallel Gentleman ordered back in Chapter 23

 

{2} Cold Beef Salad – Beef boiled in sauce and allowed to be cooled before slicing. No vegetables in this ‘salad’

 

{3} Stir fried lotus, steamed perch, shredded chicken in soup, dumplings in sweet wine, white fungus sweet soup with lily soup, bean paste spring rolls, original taste mountain herb cake, chestnut cake

 

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