Chapter 140 – No Need, I Decline, Get Lost!
Translated by Kitchennovel dot com
Hearing that familiar music, Mike watched as the elf figurine did her best to move her stiff joints in an attempt to match the rhythm. As it failed miserably thanks to the limited movements in her body, he had a bad premonition.
As a major blogger in Weibo in his past life, he was naturally familiar with the popular comedy and music groups that made it to the hit charts. In fact, even if he had limited access to the social media world, this song could be found everywhere. Just… just what the heck was it doing here? Isn’t this music box that was supposed to contain children’s songs?
Moreover, the singing itself was bad enough, but what’s with that dancing elf girl? Though she was dressed in a long skirt, theoretically she should still be able to dance well with those long legs of hers, however, she was still a wooden puppet with a limited range of movements. Only her hands could move in an approximation of the Gokuraku Jodo dance while the rest of her just sort of jerked around oddly, the end result of it was that she looked more like she’s suffering from some kind of seizure instead of dancing.
“The [System] feels that ‘Gokuraku Jodo’ has a great fanbase, not only among teenagers, but with small children as well. Aside from its ability to foster a singing ability, it also encourages dancing, a perfect example of learning through music and fun.” the [System’s] mild voice said.
“Learning through music and fun? [System] come over here if you dare, and see if don’t beat you to death.” Mike was really quite angry now. If Gokuraku Jodo could be termed as a children’s dance, then wouldn’t If U Do Do be a standard text book?
Amy raised her head to stare at the little elf in the music box, her azure eyes round and large. She was clearly captivated. Ugly Duckling tucked under one arm, the other hand raised to her mouth in eagerness.
Ugly Duckling, who was practically suspended in the air by its neck rolled its eyes, it was scrabbling its feet trying to climb up to the counter to see what the little elf was up to.
“What lovely music, and… is this a dance music? It certainly seems quite bouncy.” Abbe Mia also could not seem to take her eyes off the little elf.
Though, she felt that the little person’s movements was a little awkward and jerky, this was the first time she had heard such a unique music. Just what kind of musical instrument was used to create such magical sounds? It was unusually intense, to the point that her body seemed to want to move on its own to the beat.
However, what was most unusual was the singing. It seemed to be in some kind of foreign language, more importantly, it sounded more like chanting rather than singing. Though it wasn’t in the main Nolan Continent language, the female singing voices still sounded rather attractive, perhaps even a little mesmerizing.
“Observe, the song attracts the attention of 4 year old children as well as 17 teenagers alike, even small animals are mesmerized by this wonderful song and could not resist dancing.” the [System] declared with some smugness, it seemed very satisfied with the reactions from Amy and the rest.
“Hmph, I suppose I should be thankful for your laziness for giving us the Japanese version.” Mike looked at the three little brats before him, bobbing their heads in time with the music. He was a little surprise, but thankful that the song had not been translated into the Nolan Continent lingua franca, otherwise, it would have been very awkward.
“If the host wish for the lyrics to be changed to Nolan Language, it could be done in five minutes at the cost of 1,000 gold coins.” was the [System]’s immediate answer.
“No need, I decline, get lost!” Mike mentally yelled while maintaining a poker face. He really hadn’t expected the system to deliberately not provide the local language version in order to extort an additional 1,000 gold coins from him. It’s greediness had certainly reached expert level.
“Daddy dearest, this is really fun, ah. Amy wants to learn it!” Amy reached up to tug at Mike’s sleeves, her voice brimming with anticipation.
“Amy wants to learn this?” there was an odd expression on Mike’s face, the most worrying situation had cropped up.
“Yeah~! I feel that the dancing will be really pretty, Amy really want to learn, want to learn it now!” Amy nodded quickly, Little Ugly Duckling abandoned on a chair as she clasped her hands together.
“If at all possible, may I learn too…” Abbe Mia’s hesitant voice whispered. Her voice seemed as tiny as an ant, longing obvious in her eyes.
Mike felt at conflicted as he looked at these two people staring at him with anticipation and longing in their eyes.
As a father, he definitely did not want Amy to learn the Gokuraku Jodo as her first dance, however, after some careful consideration, there was nothing really provoking about the dance. His eyes fell upon Amy’s little body and suddenly, his brain was filled with images of Amy’s short arms and legs waving and bobbing to the Gokuraku Jodo beat, and could not stop himself from grinning. Surely it will be super cute, ba?
As for Abbé Mia, Mike studied her perfectly proportioned body in its maid costume. Well, the dance was certainly perfect for someone with large breasts, long legs, slim arms and dressed in frilly maid costume.
“Alright, you two go ahead, ba.” Mike’s conflict did not last too long. Since both Amy and Abbé Mia seemed to like it, and well, their happiness was the most important thing. Its not like they’d be dancing in the streets right away, he’ll be there to monitor them and put a stop to any raunchy movements.
“Daddy dearest is the best.” Amy stood on tiptoe and grabbed Mike’s hand, swinging herself in a rather spoilt manner.
“Thank you, Boss Mike.” Abbé Mia was also on her tip toes, hands clasped gratefully in front of her. However, she quickly resumed her normal demure stance, but nothing could hide the happiness on her face.
Since she was a child, Abbé Mia had dreamed of dancing and singing on a stage, to one day receive cheers and applause of an audience. Just like the girls who danced and sang at the centre of Aden Square on Memorial Peace Day.
Ever since she was a young child she had never seen any kind of dancing aside on that day, naturally learning a dance was out of the question.
However, things were different now, Boss Mike’s gift to Amy, this little elf person thing did not seem to tire and would continue to sing and dance as long as anyone wanted her to. As long as she was given the opportunity to observe her a few times, Abbé Mia was certain that she would be able to learn it. Naturally, even if she ended up taking a lot longer, well, that’s fine too.
Seeing their happy faces, Mike could only helplessly smile at their exuberance. However, when his eyes fell upon the little puppet who was still jerking and twisting in that awkward, mechanical way, his smile stiffened. If Amy and Abbé Mia learnt this weird, jerky dance, they would end up with a shoddy imitation of the Gokuraku Jodo dance. He should deal with this matter first.
“Level 1 Modification: Power conversion – four AAA battery be changed to high speed, super capacity lithium battery, full charge in three hours. Fully charged battery will last three days worth of continuous use. Modification rate: 10 gold coins, plus a free original charger.”
“Level 2 Modification: Power conversion+fashionable clothes – provides up to 10 very cute set of clothes for the doll to change into, no need for disassembly, just press one button to change her dress. Modification rate: 20 gold coins.”
“Level 3 Modification: Power conversion+4 sided projection upgrade, 4 sided LED screen viewing will appear, best for viewing dance animation. Modification Rate: 100 gold coins.
“Level 4 Modification: Power conversion+holographic projection upgrade, created from the latest holographic technology. Once activated, the projected figure is extremely lifelike and may be viewed from all 360 degree angles, giving the best and most accurate representation for dancing movements. A bonus teaching function may also be included, learner’s ability will be automatically evaluated and proper learning techniques be applied according to ability.”
Suddenly, a form appeared within Mike’s head.
[Translator: … want to guess how much the Level 4 Modifications will costs?]
 If U Do Do – 威風堂々- The pronunciation in Japanese is Ifudodo, so the name is kind of a pun of a pun. The meaning of the kanji characters is Majestic Hall or Awesome Majestic Appearance .
But, erm, the singing is kind of porny? The Do Do here is, erm… anyway, please, please don’t click the links below in a room full of people, DO NOT put it on loudspeakers unless you’re alone.
It’s kind of scarring.
You have been warned.
Japanese Version – Female – original
Chinese Version – Male