Chapter 37: Scolded by Mother

 

It’s no wonder that the normally graceful and even tempered official wife of the An Ping Marquis would be angry to the point of homicidal rage: In front of her was a man with a half eaten chicken drumstick in his mouth and odd looking buns in both hands. No matter how one looked at it, it definitely looked like a young food thief caught in the action. Was that really the young man that was praised by the emperor as ‘Well Verse in Letters and Sword, Gallant in All Manner’? Her pride and joy of a son? If it’s at all possible, Madam Yang really did not want to recognise this person, however, no matter how she looked, it was definitely Duan Tingxuan. Her most beloved flesh and blood.

How could a proper and dignified young little marquis turned into this thing? As for this daughter-in-law, what was that thing in her hand? No matter how one looked at it, it looked a lot like a yard broom. Was she really using this to chase and beat up Xuan’er?

Rebellion, this is definitely a rebellion, ah. Madam Yang was beyond pissed off. She raised her hand to point a shaky finger and Duan Tingxuan, after thinking for a bit, she changed her mind and moved that finger towards Su Nuan Nuan. But no, the finger made it’s way back to point shakily at Duan Tingxuan. Then, it wavered towards Su Nuan Nuan. Her lips kept opening and closing, but no word came out.

“Um, that…if one finger is not enough, you can use both hands, you know.” Su Nuan Nuan had also realized that the elder madam of the An Ping Mansion had arrived, and her tigress aura suddenly diminished. Seeing that Madam Yang seemed to have trouble with not having enough fingers, she solemnly voiced out the suggestion, privately thinking that this was all very hilarious.

“Impudent!” Madam Yang was angry to the point that her lungs almost explode. It was the first time she raised her voice, but Su Nuan Nuan only rubbed her nose and muttered in a low voice, “It’s fine if you don’t want to make use of your other finger, really, not a single humorous cell in that body,”

“Divorce her, Xuan’er, you divorce that woman immediately. This kind of woman, could never have a place in this palace !” Madam Yang gritted her teeth as she growled in a low voice, looking like she was about to transformed into a roaring lion and swallow Su Nuan Nuan alive.

Su Nuan Nuan’s eyes slowly grew colder as she raised her chin. She was the ‘If you respect me, I’ll respect you’ type of woman. In her eyes, this sort of woman who just barged in and commanded her son to divorce his wife without trying to find out anything was classified by her as something like that mother-in-law character Liu Lanzhi from <<A Peacock Flying to the Southeast>>[1].There was no need to give face to such a person.

Duan Tingxuan also frowned, and was about to say something when he realized that there was still that half eaten chicken drumstick in his mouth. The drumstick fell out of his opened mouth, when he tried to catch it, he discovered that he still has the flower rolls in both hands. His face couldn’t help but reddened, a faint anguished cry screamed within him: My brilliant aristocratic image, ah… It’s finished, it’s all finished, no wonder mother insisted I divorce my wife, ah.

There was a terrible grief in his heart, but the little marquis still managed to maintain a cool and elegant noble young master façade. He rushed up to Madam Yang in a few steps, his eyes passed across Xue Zi Lan and Xu Ran Yun’s person before smiling at the elder madam, “Mother, what brings you here so suddenly?”

“Why? The two of you fighting so enthusiastically, still know the meaning of shame? Afraid of being seen by others?” Madam Yang was super angry, to the point that she did not care about her son’s face and was criticising him openly in front of his wives.

“Why such serious words, what fighting, mother? Your son is just teasing Nuan Nuan a little.” After saying this, he saw Madam Yang’s gaze turned towards the steamed buns in his hands. The little marquis coughed twice awkwardly and held out his hands, “Since the weather is so hot, it’s not good for mother to stand under the sun too long. Why don’t you come in and have a bowl of smoothie? This is bun is personally made by Nuan Nuan, very fragrant and soft, called a Flower Bread Thing. A strange name, but very delicious, would mother like to try it?”

“No need.” Madam Yang gave a cold smile, her eyes were like knives on Su Nuan Nuan. “If I eat this thing, I’m afraid I’ll be beaten to death with a broom by someone.”

Duan Tingxuan glanced at Su Nuan Nuan, there was a trace of begging in his eyes. The meaning was very clear: Please act obedient for once, no matter what my mother is the madam of this palace. If you really pissed her off, even I can’t smooth things out.

Su Nuan Nuan was never one to surrender easily. However, looking at the rascal’s pitiful condition, ah, that’s not right, when she thought about how her leisurely days eating and sleeping within the palace was about to end, she decided that it’s time to be magnanimous. Yes, this was all about protecting her lifestyle and nothing to do with this nasty rascal, yup.

Once she made up her mind, another dilemma entered Su Nuan Nuan’s head. Want her to bow her head and admit her mistakes on bended knee in front of that symbol of evil? Sorry, royal me really can’t do it, ah. As a result, she gave a begrudging huff, walked forward in a grand way, and said indifferently. “Was unaware that elder madam is coming, excuse this one for not coming to greet you. May elder madam forgive this bad behaviour. Elder madam shouldn’t underestimated yourself, hearing your battle cry just now, elder madam is certainly not one that would die after getting smacked a few times by this one with a broom. Therefore, elder madam have nothing to fear.”

Oh. My. God.

Duan Tingxuan’s eyes darkened, that he did not faint was a near thing. Fierce eyes glared at Su Nuan Nuan. You should have stopped with that first sentence, why did you have to follow up with that kind of silly talk? This was definitely deliberate, right? This kind of unnecessary maliciousness is like ‘Drawing Legs on a Snake’ or ‘Substituting Mink with Dog’s Tail’, isn’t it?

Feeling an angry gaze from him, Su Nuan Nuan raised her eye brows a little at his direction. The meaning in her eyes clear: That’s right, it was all deliberate. This great aunty has zero respect for your mom who can’t even tell black from white, what are you going to do about it? Still want me to continue?

When Madam Yang saw that her son not only did not fiercely lecture that stupid daughter-in-law of hers, but was silently making eyes with that woman, her liver almost could not take all the fury that was building up inside her. She clenched her teeth. “Are you comfortable communicating this way? In the end, the eyes are not good substitute for the mouth, and would inevitably lead to miscommunication, ba? Do you need us to leave?”

“Mother, ahem…this, Nuan is and her maids have been living at Mei Yue Lou for a few months…that…there was probably some leftover anguish, surely mother understands.” Duan Tingxuan said awkwardly. Damn, is there something wrong with Mei Yue Lou’s fengshui? Otherwise why would his kind and mild tempered mother suddenly develop such a sharp tongue the moment she entered this place, wait, that’s not right, it should be a sudden tendency to speak so fancily.

From the side, Su Nuan Nuan’s eyes widened slightly. Madam Yang’s mocking little speech actually made her rose up a little in Nuan Nuan’s estimation: This old lady sure was funny, though her humour was kind of sarcastic, compared to those grand old ladies in the television who only knew how to scream stuff like ‘Shut up! Slap her! Disgraceful! Get out!’ this old lady was a lot more fun.

What the heck, in the end she had just seen me try to drive her son out like a stray dog, no matter what this was bound to cause some conflict even in modern times, what more in this patriarchy society? It’s fine to be a little tolerant. Su Nuan Nuan made up her mind and held out her hand in a ‘please come in’ gesture. “Would elder madam please enter?”

As she said this, her eyes cut over to Duan Tingxuan: Slag male, are you seeing this? I am taking a generous step back, if your mom did not want to enter, don’t blame me.

 

[Gumihou’s Notes: For some reason, I kept grinning to myself every time I typed ‘your mom’]

 

[1] A Peacock Flying to the Southeast – Tragic poem about a young man and his wife, and a horrible mother-in-law

http://people.wku.edu/haiwang.yuan/China/tales/kongquedongnanfei.htm

 

 

 

 

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Translated by Gumihou at kitchennovel dot com

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