Chapter 275: Drinks, Drinks, & More Drinks
Translated by Zzonkedd
Edited by Gumihou and Onionpi
Please read this at kitchennovel dot com
“Chug, chug, chug, this drink is really good!”
“Aa, I never thought that cold ale would taste so good,”
“Moreover, it matches well with Mukouda-san’s cooking!”
“Right? Right? I feel like I could keep drinking it forever!”
Ahah, although that’s beer, it’s not ale, but lager [9]. Not that it really matters but lager is great when cold.
Personally, when I think of bottled beer, the image of Company S’s black label beer [10] appears in my mind. I’m glad that everyone seems to like it, they were practically drinking it like water…
[8] Ah, well, as long as everyone has fun. Beer is best with good food and good company after all.
“Nu, I’m dry…” Siegwald-san turned his bottle upside down, trying to shake the last few drops of beer into his mouth.
[8] Woah, the corner table where I had stashed the beer (and where Siedwald-san had immediately stashed himself) was filled with empty bottles. Siegwald-san was not the only contributor to the empty bottles though, everyone seemed to really enjoy their drink. Luckily, I prepared a lot in case of this.
“A moment please, let me get some more.” [3] [6] I put away the crates of empty bottles and pulled out new crates of beer, still misty with cold.
[8] Siegwald-san eagerly reached for a bottle but I quickly grabbed one first and popped the top open, “Please allow me to serve you, Siegwald-san. You are my guest after all,” The Japanese drinking manners that had been drilled into me through my adult years kicked in as I poured beer for Siegwald-san.
[8] “Many thanks,” Siegwald-san raised his glass to me and chugged until the glass was empty. “Aaahhh, that was delicious!”
[4] “As expected, dwarves certainly know what’s good,” I complimented heartily.
“Hmm, it’s my first time drinking ale cold, and it’s really mellow and delicious too. Aahh, I could drink it all day,”
[8] “Ahh, but Siegwald-san, that beer is strictly speaking not ale, but lager,” I said, wanting to show off my knowledge of alcohol a little even as I refilled his glass.
“Hmm? Is that so? Well, I’m fine with anything as long as it’s good. Gahahaha!” and chugged his beer again. He set the glass down with a satisfied ‘aahhhhhh…’ before suddenly perking up. “Ooops, I nearly forgot. I promised to bring you something special, didn’t I? Well, here it is.”
Siegwald-san reluctantly parted with his glass and fished out a bottle from his pocket and handed it to me. [1] The glass was very clear and the golden amber liquid sparkled menacingly at me. There was no label, which reinforced the homemade feel.
I’m starting to feel a little nervous. Dwarves are famous for liking high alcohol content drinks, so…
“Go on, have a try,” Siegwald-san said encouragingly.
This… well, there’s no helping it. I uncorked the bottle and took a sip. [5]
Cough! Cough! Cough!
My throat! My eyes!!
Cough! Cough!
“Wh- whas dish…!” I slurred. What the heck?! [5]
“Gahaha! Dwarven liquor is exciting, eh?”
[4] “What do you mean exciting? All my taste buds have been burnt off! I can’t even taste it!” I was scandalized. The alcohol content was so high that I might as well be drinking paint thinner. [5]
While I was ranting, the men in the party came over to study the bottle . [5]
“Why on earth did you make Mukouda-san drink that?” [3] said Gaudino exasperatedly.
“Well, I did promise to bring my ‘special brew’,” said Siegwald-san a little smugly. [5]
“That is not something an ordinary person could take,” Gideon-san patted me sympathetically on the back.
“Ahh, that’s the voice of experience over there,” laughed Gaudino-san.
“L-leader!” [5]
Everyone laughed. [1] I’m just glad not to be the only person being laughed at. “The tastiness of alcohol should not be measured by alcohol content only…” I muttered to myself. Wait, high alcohol content drink?
While shopping for drinks last night, I bought several different kinds of alcohol. After all, most of my guests are large burly men and one very discerning dwarf. [8] I ended up buying some really powerful stuff after being seduced by the wonderful descriptions…
[8] Yes… let’s bring that out. Fufufu. [5]
“Siegwald-san~ There’s something I’d like you to try~”
“Oh?” Siegwald-san appeared a little worried by my sweet tone.
I reached into my [Item Box] and pulled out a Polish vodka with 96% alcohol [11]. It is said to be the strongest vodka in the world. It even came with a ‘flammable’ warning. So, not something to mess around with.
A friend who loves liquor told me that vodka should be served chilled in a cold glass, especially if you want to drink it neat. So I stuck it in a bucket of ice and stored it into my [Item Box] once it was properly chilled. Naturally, I bought several shot glasses from [Net Super] and chilled those as well.
[6] Fufufu, Siegwald-san, as a dwarf who enjoys paint thinner, surely you’d like your vodka neat?
[8] I took out the ice buckets of glasses and vodka and proceeded to pour a shot glass full of the 96% proof Polish vodka and slide it challengingly towards Siegwald-san.
“Sir, please enjoy~”
“Ooh, is this the one? Let me have a taste…”
[8] Siegwald the Dwarf upended the shot glass into his mouth in one gulp.
“… …”
Siegwald-san’s face, which had been perfectly normal until now suddenly turned red.
“Gu-guoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!”
I flinched. W-was it too strong even for Siegwald-san? [11] I vaguely remember reading that someone actually died drinking this…
“Wh- wh- what’s this? What is this powerful and incredible thing?!”
“What? Wait! Siegwald-san, your face is too close…” I nearly fainted from his alcohol breath.
“Gimme more,” [5]
“No, no, people have died from drinking too much of this you know? Also, it’s not meant to be taken neat…” [5]
“I am a dwarf. This is nothing. Just pour me another!”
I had bought this crazy Polish vodka as a joke and planned to maybe use it to pickle fruits or something if no one drinks it, but… [5]
“Oh, fine, fine, don’t blame me if you find yourself rolled under the table after this.”
I fetched a new cold glass and poured another shot. Which Siegwald-san slammed down in one go again. “Cough, intense and powerful. Good!”
[8] All of us men (the elves were too busy eating) stared in fascination and horror as Siegwald-san downed his third and fourth shot. [5]
“Gimme one more, one more!”
“Absolutely not, Siegwald-san. You promised that’s the last one,”
“Oh, for the love of God, one more! Don’t be stingy,”
“For the love of God, you say…” I’m really afraid of sending you to heaven too soon with alcohol… although, since he’s a dwarf, he’d probably be really happy…
[8] “No, I cannot give you any more. I have other stuff you can try but I’m confiscating this one now,” while speaking, I quickly shoved the bottle of vodka into my [Item Box].
“What? You have other stuff? Well, let us have a look!”
[6] Augh, y-your face…
“Alright, alright, here, here, and here!” I frantically reached into my [Item Box] and brought out the stash I had bought. [8] Most of them were from the Recommended Gifts section, which meant they’re tasty, smooth and more importantly, has safe alcoholic limits.
I got whiskeys, of course, since those duo gods kept pestering me about whiskeys, I inevitably became somewhat familiar with them. I got a local Japanese whiskey, a cheaper version of the ‘Best Whiskey in the World’; a scotch blended whiskey from a popular label as well as one that says it’s made with over 40 different pure alcohol blends. [12]
Aside from blends, I also bought some bourbon whiskeys since these are said to be ‘uncompromisingly pure’ types of liquor with high alcohol content. The brand I got has lots of positive comments and I mainly got it just in case, well, something like this happened.
I also got some brandy too. Specifically, the very famous cognac associated with Emperor Napoleon [13]. There are all kinds of cognac, but these Napoleon level cognacs are often quite expensive especially those XO (Extra Old) ones. However, it’s possible to find a less expensive Napoleon grade cognac too.
[8] Aside from these amber coloured drinks, I also bought gin. [2] The so-called ‘girly’ drink, which is deceptively fragrant and citrusy, but contains high alcohol content. I must admit, I bought the gin for its pretty bottle and drank some out of curiosity. I’ll admit I ended up very sick the next day…
The other popular thing on sale was rum. A dark Guatemalan rum that could be enjoyed neat or on the rocks. I also got a premium blend of rum made with over 20 different types of liquor and aged in French Oak barrels for 4 years. A comment from the Manager began with, ‘Beginners would be able to enjoy the mellow aroma and the sweet gentle taste of rum…’
Fascinated by this comment, I bought it even though it was a little pricey.
Finally, there’s sake.
Naturally, I must bring out liquor from my home country. The sake I bought out came from the Niigata prefecture [14] and has a fairly good reputation. A dry and refreshing sake with a sharp after taste that goes down easy. Plus, it was at the top of the monthly ranking list, so I just have to get it.
After lining up the various liquor on the table, I took out another bucket of ice and placed it next to the chilled shot glasses.
“Alright, you can drink any of these neat or with ice. So, what will it be?”
Suddenly, everyone gathered around me.
“Yoshi! Liquor!” [3] Siegwald-san howled and was nearly hopping in place with excitement.
The men were also excited, “As expected of Mukouda-san, even your liquor line-up is amazing,” [3] said Gaudino-san with shining eyes. The other men nodded fervently.
I cleared my throat, “Maa, well, you could say that I have some connections…” [6] like, a connection to the [Net Super]…
Everyone rushed over with their iced glasses and picked out the bottle that caught their eye. [5] As for myself, I stood aside and occasionally throw in remarks like:
“Ah, gin is better with ice,”
Or.
“Brandy is better without ice,”
Siegwald-san headed right for the bourbon whiskey and poured himself a glass, neat, of course. He tipped it down his throat like a pro.
“Kuhaah! That was delicious!”
“Ah… that one’s pretty strong, so please go easy on it…”
“I’m going to drink the night away!” Siegwald-san poured himself another shot and toasted the heavens.
“Yeah! Let’s drink the night away!”
It was barely past noon, are they really planning to drink until the next day?
[Eguchi Ren: Looks like it was a mistake to serve sake, huh?]
[Gumihou: Deleted some extra extra dialogues that served no purpose aside from padding.]
[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs
[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs
[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue
[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue
[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information
[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose
[7] Add Dialogue Tag
[8] Creative Licence Taken
[9] Ale vs Lager
https://www.tapvillesocial.com/craftbrewu/2018/5/8/what-is-the-difference-between-ales-and-lagers
[10] Company S Black Label Beer is most likely one of Sapporo’s black label beer. Sapporo is the oldest brand of beer in Japan and was first brewed in Sapporo back in 1876. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Sapporo_Breweries [11] Polish vodka – 96% proof. Yes, this insanity exists. Someone actually died after drinking a few shots of it. Some sources said it’s 95%, others 96%. Gumi can’t even take 5% alcohol…https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/lethal-polish-booze-thats-95-4681226
https://thehustle.co/04242020-liquor-spirytus-rektyfikowany/
Description of alcohol taken from here
https://www.theliquorbarn.com/polmos-spirytus-rektyfikowany-192-proof-750ml/
[12] Whiskey with over 40 blends of undiluted alcohol. Most likely the Ballantines which is said to be made from more than 50 single malts and 4 single grain whiskies.https://whisky.my/product/ballantines-finest/
[13] Cognac associated with Emperor Napoleon – the Courvoisier, Le Cognac de Napoleon. Courvoiseir is own by Beam Suntory. Yes, Company S. So it’s likely this is the one he’s talking about.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courvoisier
Standard version.
XO version.
The one used by Kurokiba Ryo in Shokugeki no Souma when making his French Curry Lobster Rice with Cognac was probably a Victor Fauconnier Napoleon, XO or a Napoleon V Marengo XO with similar looking bottle. It certainly is more dashing looking than the Courvoisier.
https://shokugekinosoma.fandom.com/wiki/French_Curry_Lobster_Rice_with_Cognac
https://chuansenghuat.com.sg/product/victor-fauconnier-napoleon-xo/
https://www.isaactan.net/2020/01/cny-gifts-napoleon-v-marengo-xo-brandy-ferrantino-red-wine.html
[14] Niigata Prefecture Sake – there are a lot!
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i only drink 2 bottles of beer and munch on snacks during those socializing events.. i still wanna walk home after all, taxi too expensive 😐 1 time I drank few shots of gin or brandy, but those times my house is just a few steps walk.
But oh! when i was a student i drank 1 shot of all the 7 spirits (wine gin vodka brandy whiskey rum tequila) since we have a quiz were we guess the name after drinking blindfolded (i scored kinda low boohoo), and i was still sober! i think im a good drinker after all 😅 yes culinary is one of the subjects of my course
Somehow I feel like in the next offering, Mukouda will have some trouble with some certain god…
These adventurers, after seeing all the fancy glassware, should be thinking of the provenance. And to have bottlecaps instead of corks, plastic wrapped seals, and printed color labels makes it clear the bottles aren’t from any lands they have traveled. If they ever snagged a bottle and brought it to a seer to magically analyze, there would be a “This is not from this world” result.
.
It’s kind of infuriating to see Siegwald-kun chugging down drinks. It’s a waste of expensive flavor.
96%… Is that even legal? o-o”””
We had cachaça here that used to be very high (75%+ I think?) but through the years law has been harsh on it and the % has fallen a lot. It kept at 51% for some time, and now I’m not even sure if the actual ones reach that (they’re probably at 30-45 I think?)
So much that they split cachaça and água ardente I think to try to have the law not affect it. (Same product in reality, diff names and diff %)
And things like absinthe are illegal here.
Which I’m not complaining. Ppl already get too crazy with much less alcohol. And drive.
But I remember a… Was it taxi or uber driver? Talking about how there were homemade ones that were basically pure alcohol. He actually was from a more hmm let’s say rural state, and his family distilled their own drinks at home. One day talking about gas prices, alcohol and what not with his cousin, his cousin actually took up the challenge, spent some months studying and managed to make alcohol for his car (lol).
He also said the car ran pretty well on it, more than the official ones (halp 😂 – now that one part I already think it’s taxi driver tale), and that every time he went to visit his family back at their home state he’d refill and stock on it.
I can only wonder at which % these things would be, I know nothing of these things so – certainly wouldn’t put them on my car but – like this vodka. If it’s already THAT flammable my guess is it would probably work for a car?
TL;DR dwarf-san was so proud of his homemade alcohol, till mukouda gave him ethanol LOL
–
Also
Considering Mukouda’s life is kinda a reality show to the gods and they are always watching, I think giving the dwarf vodka 96% is probably the least of the problems.
He’s probably going to have even more problems at next offering session.
Mukouda certainly likes to live dangerously eh~
Thanks for the chapters!! 😊💕
It’s not even 96 proof but 96% in volume!
That’s too crazy… Apparently, it sold very well during the pandemic because people bought it and dilute the solution with water to make hand sanitizer…
Now, /that’s/ crazy. Straight up alcohol drink having more % than a 90% alcohol 😂
I hadn’t even stopped to think of that.
And you just got to love ppl for realizing that and using it to make hand sanitizer 🤣
The dwarf menace, even more of a pushy bottomless pit for alcoholic drinks than those two male gods. Mukoda kinda messed up here, especially if those two are watching the situation. I fear that the guild master elf will also drink a bit too much, then start running around like crazy (even crazier than usual) trying to catch Dora.
Thanks for the chapter! Awesome translation! May God bless you!
Oh my gosh, you’re right, lol.
The gods are watching!!
I don’t drink and I kinda envy people who can do social drinking.
I don’t know if envy is the right word in my case, but sometimes I do wish I could (actually) drink. I’m probably on your and Gumi’s team.
I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) drink before, but 1-2 years before the pandemic I started/tried to. I would drink perhaps once every few months (when I managed to go clubbing) but even so I’d like, take one glass and it’d last through the night with perhaps my friend helping me finish it 😂
Tbh, it really depends on taste, and what you’re actually drinking for. Idk your case or how things are around your place. But talking about my own experiences,
It’s probably better to work on whatever issue ppl usually drink for than to leave it to alcohol. In my case, I usually think too much before talking. Realizing I had good friends with whom I didn’t need to weight my words so much and that I wouldn’t mess up was sooo good.
Likewise, I see too many ppl drinking so they can have “courage” to do something they actually really want to do, and in many cases it isn’t even much. Like dancing (fr) or karaoke. Again, if it’s difficult to be the first one or to do it alone, start by finding friends that will go and do it as a group. It’s much easier to do something you find embarrassing if you’re in a group.
And these are just the “average” cases. I’ve seen ppl drinking almost like they want to purge their problems/demons, and it usually was catastrophic. In so many senses.
High school and uni times sucked on that matter.
Even more so, because of peer pressure.
Again, idk how things are around there, but here you’re basically the odd one/outcast if you don’t drink, and ppl will be obnoxious into forcing you to drink. Judging you cause you don’t. And writing you off as antisocial or rude cause it probably had to get to the point of you going “I SAID NO” or “I DON’T DRINK, DAMMIT” just to get them to stop. (My bffs/inner circle don’t drink either. We went through this soooo much)
If anyone’s going through this, just remember, these ppl aren’t your friends and big chances are you won’t see them off high school/uni. Instead, find the people that actually respect and care for you, who won’t pressure you and will accept you for who you are.
These are your friends, and ppl worth keeping throughout your life.
If you’re forced into a social drinking situation, refill the beer bottle with water. If glassware is used, then water with just a very little bit of cola to add color to the water. Practice at home to get the color acceptable..
Nice tip. Unfortunately, Gumi gets tipsy from alcoholic fumes alone…
Indeed, again, nice tips!
Also, I’ve read 2 diff things in books… First about how some artists/bands etc that perform in night clubs some times have a code/pre arrangement with the house. So every time someone wants to pay them a drink, they can ask for *some invented drink name* or “the usual”. And the bartender will give them a pimped up fizz water or something, that just looks like a drink but has no alcohol.
This way they don’t get drunk on the job, don’t offend the client, and make a profit on the side. Later the club/house etc gives them the money they would have got from these paid drinks. Or they share it, I don’t remember.
The other was similar, but for the clients. Again, there was a fancy fake cocktail that had no alcohol. It was juice or fizz water or something. That (usually) girls could order to not actually have to drink (any or more) alcohol.
I also remember there were some bars that had sos fake drinks that girls could order that meant they were asking for help from the waiter/bartender without raising suspicion from whoever was it that was with them. Depending on the drink/signal (I think there was a “yellow light” be on alert one, and a “red light” halp make this stop one) someone from the establishment would be the one to put the girl in the cab/uber instead of letting her leave with the “date”.
This last one popped up years ago as anti-kidnap/rape/violence/sleeping pills strategy, cause rates were too high around here. Or because of these issues with tinder.. I don’t remember. Only that it appeared many times on the news around that time. With including some life saving stories.
Tbh I don’t know if this is still going on (the drinks. Rates are certainly still high 😥)
—
But tldr, if you’re a usual customer/get chum with the bartender, ask them if they can make you one of these fake alcoholic drinks and give it a name you two will know so you can ask for it.
Thanks for the treat.
Gald you enjoyed it~