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Tondemo Skill – 494 – Apostle of God

Chapter 494 -Apostle of God

Link: https://ncode.syosetu.com/n2710db/

Author: Eguchi Ren

Translated by Gumihou

Edited by Gumihou >_<

Gumihou: Some general editing to make the chapter more active. Change narrative paragraphs to dialogues, for example.

 

Today’s plan was to tour the churches and orphanages of Ronkainen. For my party at least. The plan had already been settled before Fer’s sudden declaration to challenge the unexplored dungeon or whatever.

As for members of the [Ark], they would be busy preparing for a dungeon dive in their own way. Apparently, there are a lot of things to take into consideration when it comes to challenging a dungeon. While they were busy discussing what to buy and stock over the breakfast table, I ventured forth to say.

[1] “Um, so, naturally, I’ll prepare all the food. So, you can leave that to me.”

Feodora actually cheered.

[1]

“Woah, thanks, man,” said Gideon-san.

“Indeed, food is the number one thing we must have. Generally, we all have to call a stop to the dungeon challenge once the food is gone,” said Gaudino-san

“Aahh, to have an [Item Box] like Mukouda-san’s~” Gideon-san sighed.

“Ahem, if you don’t mind my asking, how do you pack your stuff?” I quickly asked, not wanting attention on my ‘special’ [Item Box]

“Well, for one thing, Feodora has an [Item Box],”

“It’s a small one, but regardless of its size, an [Item Box] is always helpful,”

“Humph,”

“Feodora’s [Item Box] is a bit smaller than most elves, but it’s still a great lifesaver for us.”

“Generally, we have enough supplies to last us a little over a month. Most of the space in the [Item Box] would be taken up by food.”

Mu, naturally, nothing too luxurious. Dried meat and hardtack mostly,” said Siegwald-san.

“Of course, we also need space for spare weapons, potions, ropes and other small things needed for a dungeon dive. Those things really fill up the space.”

“What about magic bags?” I asked.

“Those are useful but difficult to get one’s hands on. Even if you have money, it’s difficult to buy one because they rarely appear in the market,” said Gaudino-san.

“Moreover, we can’t live on just food alone. We’re pretty lucky since we have a magic tool that produces drinking water.”

“I see… wait, isn’t it fine if you have someone who could use Water Magic?” I asked. “No, no, I think Fer told me about this. Normally water produced by Water Magic is not potable, right?”

“Indeed, so we’re lucky to have the magic tool.”

Woah, after hearing all of this, I’m even more grateful for my [Net Super]. Not to mention, Sui has the ability to produce potable drinking water.

“Does this mean that rich Adventurers have a higher chance of making it in dungeon dives?” I wondered.

“Well,” said Gideon, “money is good for buying you magic bags as well as good weapons, potions and armour, but going past C Rank requires more than just resources. Ability and strength count for a lot.”

“Yeah, otherwise there would be lots of rich merchants and bored aristocrats becoming advanced Adventurers,” laughed Gideon.

“I see, I see,” I’m really learning a lot. I get that being with Fer and the others gave me a skewed idea of what being an Adventure was like, so it was quite interesting to hear actual experienced Adventurers who earned their high rankings with blood and sweat talk about the real hardships of adventuring.

They all got their A Rank honestly.

Hearing them talk, I felt even more blessed about my [Item Box], [Net Super] and of course, my super powerful companions.

Once breakfast was over, we went our separate ways.

I had already collected information on the various churches here. Interestingly, in addition to the Four Goddesses’ churches, there was also a relatively large church dedicated to the God of War. This must be due to Ronkainen’s proximity to the small warring countries. It made sense for people who engage in war to worship the God of War, after all.

After making my rounds, I plan to go and fill in the orders, I mean, offerings for the Gods and Goddesses before our trip to the dungeon. Who knows when I’ll be out again? I’d rather not do this in front of others, good people or not.

Anyway, I have already taken their orders yesterday, which would cut down on my work today.

“Right,” I said to my party. “First stop, Church of the Goddess of Earth.”

 

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“Whew, that took a lot longer than I thought, but the next church would be the last,” I said cheerfully.

“Let’s just get this over with quickly…”

Umu…”

For some reason, Fer and Grandpa Gon looked a little depressed.

“”Oi, oi, you two alright?””

“”Alright~~?””

There were some grumblings from the two bigger monsters.

“Annoying…”

“What’s all that Apostle-sama, Apostle-sama…”

Smirking to myself I recalled the beautiful sight again.

[2] Indeed, when Demiurgos-sama said that the main churches would hear his voice, I had expected the effect to be restricted to the religious leaders at Rubanov alone, but it turns out that religious leaders from ALL major churches had heard Demiurgos-sama’s voice

[2] Moreover, it was so rare for the people to hear God’s voice that everyone was understandably overwhelmed and excited.

Of course, this also meant that so long as there was a church of the Four Goddesses somewhere in the world, news about how ‘God Rubanov’ was non-existent was inevitably spread.

What this meant for our party was that when we arrived at the Church of the Earth Goddess, by ‘we’ I meant Fer and Grandpa Gon, were greeted by a line of church officials who fell to their knees before my two most powerful familiars, calling them ‘Apostle-sama’.

A quick assessment of the situation showed that Fer and Grandpa Gon did not look like they were against being greeted like this so… I immediately grabbed the opportunity to shift responsibilities. That was, I sped up to the most important looking religious official and dump, I mean, respectfully handed over the meat and money donation I had prepared earlier.

More importantly, I gravely said, “This is a gift from the Apostles…”

Pandemonium broke out.

The priests cried tears of joy. Lots of tears and lots of joy.

We were immediately surrounded by believers making it difficult to get away. When we finally made our escape and arrived at Ruka-sama’s church, we received a similar welcome.

“Apostle-sama! Apostle-sama!!”

It was so very difficult to extract ourselves from Fer and Grandpa Gon’s devoted fans~~

Ufufufu, it was really funny to see my all-powerful familiars cringing away from their followers.

We managed to distribute charity to all four Goddesses’ churches without any problems aside from having to fend off some over-enthusiastic followers. Naturally, I styled myself as a ‘servant of the Apostle-sama’, a completely unimportant lackey, a nobody. Heheh.

Finally, we arrived at the Church of Vahagn.

The church itself was pretty unremarkable.

What was remarkable was the group of incredibly muscular (and filthy-looking) men on one knee with their left arm over their chests.

I… can’t say I’m overly excited to see these sweaty, overly muscular men.

One of the muscular men, a middle-aged muscly guy with a manly stubble stepped forward. He raised his voice and said, “Apostle-sama, welcome!”

U-umu,”

I sniggered at the ‘Apostle’s’ reactions, I’m so glad everyone just thinks of me as an unimportant ‘attendant’. It’s so fun to step back and watch as drama happened to other people.

“We are the worshippers of God of War. Engaging in a fight means more to us than mere words. Would the Apostles grant us the privilege of fighting you?”

Oooh~~ Wow, unlike those Rubanov people who just blindly fight my familiars back at Carelina, he must know my familiars’ true strength, but he still wants to fight them?

The worshippers at the first ‘church’ of the War God we visited had wanted to fight my familiars too, so, I guess it’s their thing? Were they influenced by the conflict happening in the nearby small countries or are all worshippers of the War God so such battle addicts?

“Hoh?”

“Fumu,”

Oh? Rather than offended, it looked like Fer and Grandpa Gon appeared intrigued. They exchanged a look and said, “Well, who would you like to challenge?”

“Respectfully, I wish to challenge Ancient Dragon-sama,” the Stubbled Old Man stared at Grandpa Gon with a glint in his eye.

H-how incredibly brave… I thought faintly.

“Humph,”

Ah, Fer-sama sounded a little bit unhappy…

[3] That was when a skinny older man with a bald head and bulging muscles stepped forward to declare, “I wish to challenge Fenrir-sama!”

“Fu… I supposed that’s fine,”

Fer, I can see your tail flapping away behind you…

[3] “”Hey you two! Don’t hurt anyone!””

“”Yes, Master.””

“”U-umu, of course.””

[4] I coaxed Sui over. She leapt off of Fer’s head and bounced into my arms with a little ‘mu’.

“”Sui wants to fight too…””

“”Ah, but it’s not a fun fight. You can’t shoot them with your Acid Bullets…””

“”Hmm,””

“”Sui will get to pew pew lots of things at the dungeon next!”” I thought desperately to cheer her up.

Immediately, my little ball of jelly perked up.

“”Really?!””

“”Yes, yes, of course~~””

Haa… I guess there’s no avoiding the dungeon now…

Meanwhile, we somehow ended up in a clearing with Stubbled Old Man holding a spear and Skinhead Uncle had a bastard sword in his hands. The rest of the grim-faced followers of the War God were watching from the side with bated breath.

“Let’s goo!!!!”

“Attackkk!!!”

Stubbled Old Man stabbed Grandpa Gon with his spear.

Uncle Skinhead slashed at Fer’s foreleg.

Gakinn—!!

Supaa—!!

The tip of the spear shattered.

The bastard sword broke in two.

Neither of my familiars had moved an inch.

The grim-followers followers all had their mouths dropped open in shock.

Ahem, well, it’s not like you people are weak.

It’s just, Fer and Grandpa Gon are super OP.

[5]

““O-oi, let’s get out of here!””

“”U-umu, we should go.””

Hmm? Those aren’t the voices of beings who had won their battles without moving, right?

Then, I saw it.

Glittering eyes just around the edges of the doorway. One by one, heads popped into view and…

“Ah, you want to avoid the chil-”

“”Shh! Don’t mention them!!””

“”Use telepathy! And back away slowly…””

“… …”

“”Hey! What’s so bad about the younglings, eh?””

“”Sui likes playing with children~~””

“Ahem, I guess it’s time to go,” since my familiars had worked so hard, I should cut them some slack. I went over to the still-shocked Stubbled Old Man and handed the money and meat packages to him. “These are from the Apostles-sama. Please accept them. Please make a good meal for the children with the meat. Goodbye.”

And so, we hurried off.

I had to chuckle at how the strongest, most powerful beings on this world practically run away at the sight of children.

 

[Gumihou: Redid the ending a bit]

[1] Let’s make dialogues.

[2] Give additional information so that it’s less ‘out of the blue’

[3] Deleted a bunch of totally unnecessary interaction. Basically, just some background heckling. Over 100 words of it, seriously… Also, the warning to not hurt anyone was given twice…

[4] Added back some words I deleted in [3] via sulky Sui interaction.

[5] Redid the ‘saw the kids’ for added suspense and hilarity.

 

Some crocodile recipes.

https://www.themeatguy.jp/en/cookingstudio/recipe/02_crocodile

[1] Deleted 150 words of delicious/yummy/kuh~/drinks!/beer! Etc

[2] Redid the disappearing karaage joke

 

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This Post Has 11 Comments

  1. RemAishiteru!

    Thanks for the TL! Apostle Sama huh xD
    Feru and Gon may be able to beat them brave men who challenged them but it seems they won’t ever get over their weakness of children lol.

  2. Gackt1

    I’m still sure even if Rubanov exist somewhere, they must most likely change the name now…..

  3. Filip

    [would be ta food] -> {would be the food} ~ unless ‘ta’ is intentional
    [a skewed idea of what being] -> {a skewed idea of what being an adventurer is} ~ me thinks

    Facing monsters the pet party would be happy, in front of big macho men they are staunch and imposing, but when kids show up, it’s time to back away slowly and silently. After nearly 1000 years, Fer finally found his nemesis, orphanage kids.
    Thanks for the chapter! Awesome translation! May God bless you!

  4. Nobody

    Previous chapter: MC whinges about having to cook for the other adventurers
    This chapter: MC immediately volunteers to cook for the other adventurers for the entire expedition

    I’m guessing MC being a self sabotaging idiot is trumped by his absolute obedience to feeding everything that so much looks at his food, as it’ll no doubt happen on said expedition. (the self sabotage includes committing to regularly supplying the hair restoration products that cannot be simply purchased online, on top of the ever growing skin and hair care products)

    1. Gumihou

      He’s just whinging for the sake of whinging, some people are like that.

      Like, they moan and grumble about no one helping them clean the house, but shoo you away when you try to help clean.

      1. Filip

        That’s a very good description of Mukoda. His main job is whining, not cooking. It’s like cooking is just to provide for himself and the pet party, so he can whine more, lolz. O the other hand, I think that if the author didn’t include all the whining grumbling and arguing, then it would seem Mukoda is merely a cooking robot.

        1. Gumihou

          Yeah, whining is what makes him interesting. I like him for it.

          I’m sick of those stoic, cold MCs.

  5. A-Reader

    Turns out anything the familiars can’t fend off by attacking is their weakness

  6. Otaku Hikikomori

    Thanks for the treat.

  7. ArtanisBurgers99

    Was hoping Mukouda became known at least as the apostle of Demiurgos to make him important as his familiars were already Rockstars

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