Tondemo Skill – 521 – Grotesque Lump

Chapter 521 – Grotesque Lump

Link: https://ncode.syosetu.com/n2710db/

Author: Eguchi Ren

Translated by Gumihou

Edited by Gumihou >_<

Gumihou: Adjusted the entire chapter for a smoother and more realistic representation of what it ought to be. Rearranged a bunch of other stuff too.

  

“Ugh…”

I feel sick.

I, Mukouda Tsuyoshi, am feeling sick.

Sick of meat.

“Urp…” I covered my mouth with my hand as I recalled what we had for breakfast. Right now, we are travelling via [Mizumaru] and I already have a paper bag in hand just in case the worse happens.

I may suffer, but I don’t want the worse of it to happen on poor sweet Sui…

That’s right, I may well be suffering from seasickness too, except I was already feeling nauseous this morning as I put several Ginger-Grilled Pork Bowls together for my familiars.

I cannot avoid the smell of cooked meat, but I was half hoping that the smell of ginger would mitigate the feeling somewhat. Thinking that members of the [Ark] may be feeling poorly as well, I thoughtfully prepared a more reasonable western-style breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs on toast, pickled vegetables and vegetable consommé for them, which most of them were very grateful for, although they certainly ate more than I thought they would.

To anyone who is interested, all vegetables on this breakfast table came from Alban’s garden and the bread was lovingly baked by Theresa.

Speaking of morning breakfast, a certain female Elf stared longingly at the bowls of Ginger-Grilled Pork Bowl I was assembling, and I just pushed a couple of bowls at her direction. Ugh, I had to look away and sip at my vegetable juice, which I had secretly decanted from a very Other World-looking can into a local mug, when she started to chomp, chomp, chomp away at the food.

Yeah, yeah, I know that I have the Goddess’ Blessings (small) and should technically be immune to petty ailments like this, but my stomach rebelled at the idea of even bringing any kind of animal protein close to my mouth right now…

Just looking at people eating meat made me sick, especially so when Fer outright demanded ‘Gimme meat, no leaf!’.

As a result, Fer’s breakfast rice bowl came with an extra helping of shredded cabbage.

“Hey! What’s this?!”

“Hahh? What was that? You want more cabbage? Sure, you know I’ll never deny you-”

“Never mind.” 

This small act of bullying warmed the pits of my stomach. That’s right, how dare you make trouble for the person who made your Karaage Party a huge success, huuhh?

Ugh, I sounded like a boring old man. In fact, after I hit 25, I started worrying about my physical condition and dare not gorge on fried food anymore.

To suddenly have fried food for so many days…

Moreover, last night’s Yuzu Pepper and Miso Karaage were so delicious that I could not help but eat more than was advisable.

I am now paying for last night’s act of gluttony.

Haahhh…

As expected, it’s best to do things in moderation.

I thought as I continued to stare at the shimmering sea that was sparkling under a clear sky.

“Urp…”

 

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Five days after our battle with the Sea Serpents.

Right now, we were on the [Mizumaru], making steady progress across the ocean.

“It’s really hard to believe this place is a dungeon…”

““Aruji~~ Fishy~~””

A piece of white meat plopped down next to me courtesy of Sui’s tentacle. The meat was perfectly cut and carefully wrapped in seaweed.

Now and again, I get reminders that we truly were stuck in a dungeon. After all, in what natural world would meat turn up so nicely packaged like this?

“Thank you, Sui.”

For those who wish to know, the meat in question was from a type of fish called the Big Needlefish. As its name suggests, it has a long thin, almost flat body with a long mouth or beak filled with razor-sharp teeth.

We have been collecting more and more of these in the past two or three days.

They are pretty delicious when foil-baked so I got Sui to catch them whenever they come her way. Thus far, we have also caught two Krakens and three Aspidochelons.

By ‘we’, I meant my familiars.

It’s been a long time since I had proper calamari and high-quality white fish, so I plan to bring these back to Carelina for everyone to try. The unfortunate thing about Meat Drops is that the meat we receive is much lesser compared to the volume of the monster’s body.

In short, I don’t have a lot of Kraken and Aspidochelon meat despite having taken down two or more of them.

So, back off, Feodora-san!

Aside from Feodora-san’s vaguely uncomfortable jiii— stares, there was really nothing interesting or out of the ordinary.

Until now.

“Hm, they’re here.”

“Umu,”

““Oooohhh!!! There are lots of them!!”

““Turtles~””

“Turtles?” I squinted my eyes and yup, right in front of us were a bunch of shells floating slowly in our direction.

“Those things!”

“Ugh, Murder Turtles…”

“Troublesome to fight, but those shells fetch a lot of money.”

“Money…”

A single turtle shell measured about 2 meters long, and when it reared its head up… well, the neck just went on and on for a bit before it suddenly struck forward.

“Eep!”

A snapping turtle!

A freaking snapping turtle!

Freaking giant freaking snapping turtle with freaking fangs!!!

“Right, let’s do this!! We’ve taken these on before, so we can do it again!!”

“Ou! We’re a party that took down Sea Serpents! A B Class Murder Turtle is nothing to us!”

“Umu! Let’s strike!”

“Shells. Collect more.”

Ahaha, the [Ark] party seems to be rather energetic today…

“”Raahhh!! Let’s race and see who could kill the most!!””

“”Sui will!!””

“We certainly can’t lose to the younglings, right Fer?”

“Umu, naturally.”

Perhaps infected by everyone’s enthusiasm, I also take out my Mithril spear and stand ready to face these Murder Turtles.

“In coming!!” Gaudino-san shouted.

As everyone secured their spots on the [Mizumaru] and began to slaughter the Murder Turtles, I… I gripped my spear and guarded my spot.

“Don’t come, don’t come, don’t come…” I muttered.

A turtle head snapped forward, chomping at the area just in front of my face before retreating into the water.

“Gah! Stay back!” I brandished my spear at it.

The turtle appeared to know that the Mithril spear was dangerous and kept its head well within its shell even as it advanced.

“Damn it, stay back!”

I slashed and slashed.

[1] Bits of its front legs disappeared and blood gushed out, making its perch on Sui’s body even more slippery and it just… slipped and dropped into the sea with a plop.

“Eh?”

Suddenly energised, I aimed my spear low and proceeded to stab and slash at the enemy’s feet, forcing them off the [Mizumaru] and preventing them from boarding the ship!

“Hah! Hah! Hah! HAH!!”

…………..

………

….

“Hah, hah, hahh… tired…”

“Master, you’re just fending them off and not killing them, why are you tired?”

“Ughh…”

This Fer is so judgy! It was all I could do to fend them off you know!!??

I was too tired and could only show him a rude hand gesture.

“Hahh… why is my master like this…”

““Aruji~~ last turtle gone~~””

“Oh, thank you, hahh… Sui…”

Surrounding me were piles upon piles of turtle shells. A single shell was about 2 meters long, so five was enough to make a large pile. In the end, Sui had to expand her size, which made our area of protection bigger… resulting in me having to fend off more turtles from my suddenly bigger spot…

Aside from the mountains of shells, there was also some meat.

My familiars (and one Elf) were all staring at the meat with sparking eyes.

“I wonder if this meat would be delicious.”

“Master will make it delicious.”

“”Ou! I can’t wait~!””

“”Aruji~~ yummy~~””

“Meat…”

The men and Dwarf looked at me dubiously, then back at the pile of grotesque looking meat.

“Um, so…”

I sighed.

“I don’t know either, I can only do my best,” I sighed as I moved the meat as well as the shells into my [Item Box].

Whatever, there were plenty of other meats to eat. Why eat this suspicious-looking thing when there are so many other things to eat?

 

[Gumihou: I don’t know why they complain so much, snapping turtle meat looks like ordinary red meat, just leaner and darker. Although it could be monster meat I guess?]

 

[1] Adjusted details to make Mukouda’s fighting more vivid

 

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